man.
im so dead. so dead for ma.
have never buanged a paper like this before. or rather, maybe i have, back in jc, when i was doing the fmaths papers. it feels exactly the same, come to think about it.
jialing was saying "you'd have to live ma, sleep ma, eat ma in order to do well for this paper."
in case the ignorant ones dont know, ma = management accounting.
like damnit man, kta's papers are fucking hard. twisted and blearh? bahhh.
i might fail. or end up with a D. unless he moderates. which makes my ma grade either a C or D. bahhh.
i dont feel that tormented actually. maybe cuz it simply feels exactly like fmaths, cuz you know you've already tried, and there's nothing more you can do really. but unlike fmaths, we have plenty of block tests to buang before it comes to the real Alevels. for MA, the quizzes aint even reflective cuz they are MCQ and the final exam has only 4 long questions. bahhh.
im not exactly despaired over it. more like resigned to my fate. of having a possibility of retaking the course again? yea its that badd.
questions 1&3 were gone case. my NPV was wayyy too much. first it had too much loss. after i changed something, NPV was wayy too high. wtf?!? question 3. hahaha. i solved it the primary school way i think. addaddaddaddadd. oh i think this is the total variable cost. uhm. think i minus it after then. minusminusminus. now what do i do next? bahh. whacked my way thru question 4, thankfully i remembered that trips are always two way. hence i rmbed to times 2. question 2 is my only saviour, but its only 18 marks. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. think most people wont understand what im saying here.
fuck it.

i will concentrate on finance and biz law now. at least try to.
at least i can smoke my way through biz law. dont think i've lost my crapping skills. not after today's practice at smoking my way thru ma.
and finance is open book. so is biz law. im so thankful for open book exams.
think i've lost my touch for closed book exams. which is SHITE.
i cant memorise for nuts now.
bahhhhh.

why does it feel so much like buanging a fmaths paper?!?
when im all desensitised and resigned to the fate already.
by the way, need i mention, i never got higher than an E for fmaths before. as in hwa chong standards E. which is 50-54 i think. overall. yea. mechanics always pulled me down. for sure. i can still remember that wonderful single digit 8/43 for mechanics prelims. WAHAHAHA. uhm yea. fmaths was either an O or F. hence im quite thankful for my B ultimately during Alevels. wasnt expecting much mah. hahaha.

went town for lunch just now. ate at subway (yea again. the last time i ate subway was last friday. for lunch after interview on my way home. cuz i was craving for subway.) with elaine jia gina and xin. then we went for waffles at gelare cuz tuesday is waffles day! hahaha. imagine, 5 girls finishing 4 large waffles with icecream. HAHAHA. and xin ate the most! she may look small and petite, but the way she cleared the plates. like WHOA. hahaha. and food therapy does good to post MA. :D really. hahaha.
cant wait for friday when we kbox and mahjong our night through after finance paper :) cant wait to go high during kbox.

and thanks to the three dearies who gave me consolation and encouragement when i msged you guys to whine about ma. yeaps :) thank you guys soo much, for giving me an outlet to vent. especially yuan :) so sweet to call me :) i dint expect you to call lor. talking to you made me felt much much better. xie xie teo shu yuan :) *MUACKS*


sometimes fate plays an important part in our lives.
we're often dealt second chances and you often find that its always during the second chance, that you'll get to know the people alot better. me and yuan were just talking about it the other day. and yea, when i look back in life, i realise alot of people reappeared in my life. and now, most of them are part of my life. my closest friends.

best example: teo shu yuan :)
remember how close you me and eileen were during first three months in hc? yea i remember those times vividly. and then you couldnt stay, and went to nj. missed you terribly during j1. but as time passed, all of us drifted apart, being in different schools and all. even eileen and i drifted apart. she busy with her huang cheng and canoe, me with interact. even though we were still in the same class. and now look, you're one of my closest smu friends. in acct together, and someone whom i rely on alot. even when we're not in the same classes. someone whom i can whine to, talk to, bitch to, go maddd together during ktv. really. i really really appreciate this second chance given to me. i love you :)

example 2: poon ruoling :)
remember the first time we talked was when you passed me the netball treasury file in sec 3/4 (?) for me to have a look and model it for the hadley accounts? then i returned you your file via 402 front door/403 back door. haha and then, we ended up in the same jc class! and from there, really. need i say more? with XIAO HEI, yaya, monstar, baby bluey.. the memories we've had over two years in jc.. and then still keeping in constant contact even after parting for uni. absence makes the heart grow fonder. it does apply in your case! :D am glad we're still close. and yea, im sure this will last forever. i love you :)

example 3: him. :)
last year during camp, same group mates. but we dint keep in touch after that. absolutely zilch.
then this year, came back to be in camp comn. and i was lucky, cuz i wasnt supposed to be in, as i did PCP last year already. and i was surprised that soontien asked me to come back. and then, we got to know each other alot better during organising. and things just happened along the way.. yea.. so. what more can i say? i miss you :)

im sure there are many more examples of second chances in my life.
but currently, these are the main ones i can think of.
randomly naming off, people like. huiling. venus. gabriel.
people whom i love and treasure alot.

i dint used to believe fate existed.
i dint think there was such a thing called fate.
now.
what more can i say?
looks like there is fate in this world after all.
this is called yuan fen.
if not, why would we meet again?
[just dont tell me cuz singapore is too small. i'd *bish* whoever who says that. im sure some smartass will.]