hmm. interestingly sean found my bloggie. how, i dont quite really know. i dint know my blog 'circle' would loop over to theirs. yeah. but anyway, considering this is already the second last week, i dont really mind if my students lay their hands on my blog, my email, msn, icq, handphone number, home address, birthday ( *hint hint hint*) or whatsoever. i mean, this is already the second last week before term ends and since i most prolly wont be going back next term, it doesnt harm if they start to get to know me as friends right? especially my sec twos. i mean, look at it this way. im barely 5 years older than them. sometimes i feel more like a student than a teacher. maybe that is the main reason why i dont feel like becoming a teacher yet. take for example, during exam invigilation. i felt so damn bored and the room was bloody stuffy such that i envied the students for being able to put their heads on the table. and sleep. sleep. yes me and yuanshin were soooo envious of them. but of course, we couldnt say anything. as usual. but what the heck. four of us leaving by the end of the term so there you go. initially there would be the hoo-haa of trying to keep in touch with the teachers but as time goes by, and memories fade, students will forget the relief teachers. and the ugts. unless either one of dthe three gets posted back to hillgrove for their practicum and after that, proper posting. heard from daniel that seok bee is coming back to hillgrove officially as a teacher. good for her. i like her cos she is just so bubbly and cheery. never got to talk to irene, and the other two male teachers here for practicum. but hey. i think 1E2 will be utmost delighted to know that their fish will not be returning to the school. oh wells. in one week odd time, it would be none of my business. grin. not that i dont wanna care. but im quite tired honestly. as in. just mentally tired. maybe cos im taking full load and it's actually quite jialat ultimately, even if im dealing with the better classes? oh wells. oh sean, if you're reading, i wont be starting any new lessons. i'll be going through the mid year paper, and yeah. relax for the rest of the lesson. grin. so you dont have to bring your geog text book if you're wondering. grin.

just maximised notepad to its largest. supposed to be looking for brainteasers to occupy my english classes but somehow i end up blogging. blogging seems to be part of my life now. such a big part of it. i look forward to the time i reach home, and be able to 'record' down my feelings and emotions for the day. i sure hope my parents will get a new pc soon. so that they can hog one machine and i can hog the other. and when i get my laptop soon enough, i'll be on my laptop 24/7. oh wells. that's me la. a girl who cannot survive without the computer, books, nor the internet. no wonder lee tong thought that description fitted a guy more than a girl. and yeah, my radio and music. some things i just cannot do without. oh wells.

you know. sometimes when i start thinking about myself. i realise i dont really excel in any specific area. sounds lousy right? i dont know. i just dont seem to excel. i mean. for very obvious cases, i dont excel in my academic studies. people go wow when they ask about my past education institutions. but look at my results. they dont quite show that im a bright student. quite an average one in fact. i mean, caleb pointed out today that 50% of the Alevels students are getting 4As. so i belong to the part who dint get 4As. which is quite sad aint it? oh sigh. and then. i dont excel in sports. even if i look tanned. im a lazy idiot. who refuses to exercise. who cannot get her butt out of the house to go to the gym or go jogging. i simply plainly refuse to. i'd rather sit in front of my comp and type non stop in my blog. or play computer games. or read a book in my bed. or chill out to music. but never the sun. it takes alot of carrots to attract this unhealthy rabbit to step out of her burrow to go out and play sports. alot. and what next? i dont have any particular hobby or liking that i excel at. not drawing. and you cant excel in reading. nor interacting. yeah. nothing. simply absolutely nothing. im just a plain jane, put it this way. somebody average. who doesnt stand out. personally.. i dont know. maybe there are people who take proactive ways to make themselves stand out from the rest. i mean, no pain no gain aint it? some people are simply just so brilliant that they dont need to lift a finger to shine bright. but then again, im a lazy pig. so why should i be complaining about my own attributes when it becomes bloody obvious to me now that not standing out amongst the crowd, is plainly my fault. noone's fault but mine. im not in a mood now, but i just got myself thinking. as usual. oh sigh.

im not upset now. im not. seriously.
i have one more hour on the computer before i pass it over to my dad to let him play his neopets. he happily switched on the comp wanting to play his neopets just now before i informed him that i need to use it for work. which is partially true i suppose. it takes a hell lot of time to republish my blog now since it contains archives since the beginning of last year. pretty amazing how i managed to keep this going for more than a year. im surprised at myself. seriously. but maybe the change to broadband prolonged the expiry date of my blog. and i will continue to update it everyday. i promise. yeah.