hell of an emotional roller coaster ride today.

mr logan came back to school to finish up his prep so that IF i'm going to take over him, i'll have an easier time. chatted with him for quite a while, told him about my worries, and told mr chua as well. think mr chua is alright la. just that he's VERY stressed out, hence resulting in his abrupt language. kinda pity him actually. his "buddy" for lower sec geo keeps changing and he nearly blew up when i told him timidly today that i MIGHT not be taking over. he was like ...... oh sigh.

and when i went back to the office, i received a phonecall from a certain ms tan. who was the ugt posted to hillgrove for geo and MATHS?!? what the hell. was sooooo bloody tempted to hang up on her. but of course the nice civillised me spoke politely and informed her that both mrs wong and mrs yeow aint in. call back tmr girl. and meanwhile, dont let me see you. sheesh. was very upset la. she spoke as though it was confirmed. cos moe sent her the letter. get away man. haii.

then i msged mr logan. and him. whining/complaining. and mr logan was like "there's better opportunities out there for you.." and he even offered to help me ask his friend in the law firm if i wanted an attachment of sorts. its okay la. cos i think i'm staying at the front office if i dont get the relief teaching thing. i think. i hope. and he cheered me up with his smses. partially free cos there were illegal immigrants on tekong. haha. so exciting. armed with grenades somemore. grin. thanks dear. or maybe i should thank the illegal immigrants for making him free to reply. haha.

then mrs yeow actually came in to the office in the afternoon. when i thought she was on leave. so i picked up my courage (from nowhere) stepped into the office and spoke to her about this issue. when i was speaking to her, mrs loo came in to transfer some files into mrs yeow's computer. as usual. all the same things were repeated. we're not sure yet, we know we're leaving you hanging blah blah blah. told her i've already started doing up lesson plans and the mid year exam paper, she just simply brushed it aside. what the hell.

met mrs loo in the toilet after that. she asked, "so got anything out from mrs yeow?"
for no reason, i started crying. the tears just flowed. like it's damn unfair to make an agreement on the post and take it away when im in the thick of things planning and all. maybe that is just working life. and according to mrs loo, this is very mild already. to me it isnt. to mrs loo, it isnt also, cos she looks at other things aside from budget and certs. the human emotions. and the time and hard work they've put in. she was real nice about the whole issue and gave me two hugs. said that she'll support me all the way. was really touched by her actions and words. very.

so i just gotta see how things go about tmr. and wait for the final decision either tmr or saturday. either way, i'm prepared for the worst. but i think, i'll still cry when the sentence is passed. i'll need a shoulder to cry on if the worst is true. i know i will break down. those who know me well will know why.

fate played an evil trick on me. and showed me the reality of life.