yesterday was a long day. left home by 8, driving at gombak in the morning, last lesson before driving test on tues. gah. im dead. i shall not freak myself out before the day itself. AHHH. then had tuition with rachelle. got two more tuition lobangs, passing one to elaine, and thinking of taking the second one, considering this pri 5 kid stays at jurong east. unless there are interested parties who are reading my blog now. sms or call me yea? pri 5, eng maths science, twice a week, preferably weekday evenings/nights.

then it was comn serve. new people new faces. first session for the year. a little late but better than not starting. fishball, know sandra and kathy are no longer here, so there are 3 new faces. and to think i thought they were volunteers and not staff. hee. but only 4 kids came down. the usual threesome, angelene manpreet and jaspreet, with another boy vicknes. they were doing easter stuff, and it brought back memories for some of us with respect to last year [or was it 2 years ago?] when they did their easter egg painting. stayed until about 4-ish after their easter egg hunt [considering i was the one who hid the eggs. grin.], then went off to suntec to meet ruoling for the NATAS fair. tried to get someone to come along and bio his chiobu, but he dint in the end. hehehehe. NATAS fair was so crowded. or rather, suntec was bloody crowded. and we saw loads of familar faces at the fair, people like diya oet toe pauline, who were looking for holidays also. me and ruoling were just looking for a quick getaway, and we zoomed in on the hard rock hotel, 3D2N thing. yea im still going for another holiday, with the confirmed HK trips, to-be-confirmed Shanghai trip, horseriding and this. AHHH money! blearh. anyways. the hard rock one is super tempting! and to my amazement when i brought up this short getaway to my mum, she was fine with it. surprise of all surprises. (: and we were tempted by club med for a while. maybe when im not spending so much yea? RUOLING! DEC AUSSIE TRIP!!! [any more takers as well? we welcome all! :) ] was nearly forced into signing up for prucash [a savings investment] until a timely call to my mum stopped me from doing so. phew. $100 lei. hahaha.

but that was the key factor that caused me to be late for committee dinner as well. oops. sorry..
but i wasnt the only late one! aundre was late too! hahaha. and to think desmond was threatening us to pay for the entire dinner for being so later. well i was nearly 45 minutes late. ooops. but not everyone turned up, a little sao xing. and i was seated all the way at the end of the table, hence was away from the key central action. humm. but aundre was there entertaining me as usual. hahaha. had our final meeting, summed up everything, was kena saboed [AGAIN! but then again, i wanted it too la.] to come back for camp committee 05/06 and i returned the sabo as well. hehehe. walked over to esplanade wanting to hear free outdoor concert, but arrived too late. in the end we settled at pacific where we had coffee and talked for a while before my mum called to rush me home. urgh. considering i have 10am-6pm tuition today, fine lo. cabbed back with soon tien and peiling, and we were talking about what the camp has given us. and it wasnt that tough a question. confidence and morale booster, giving me a whole new bunch of mates that i felt totally at home with. the camp is just simply wonderful. and maybe thats why i want to come back again, and make the same difference to people all over again. wheeee. going high on camp again. hahaha.


i wonder if i am oversensitive or what. i could be reading too much into his actions.
but.

the way he wanted to feed me a strawberry..
the way he became my walking atm by accident..
the way he forced me to eat half a ham omelette when i already took a full set dinner..
the way he pretended to fall asleep on my shoulder..
the way he was bugging me while i was on the phone, talking about hk plans, with him saying he wanted to go too..

they all felt like positive signals. but i really dont know.
all i know is, i've never felt like this with a guy.
it's soo.. breatheless. and i dont know what to expect. for once, im at a loss for words.
i guess. i am falling deep and fast into you.



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today.
tireddd.
thanks kailyn dear for the long night phone chat. but i still dint fall asleep immediately after that. in fact i couldnt quite sleep. and i just simply woke up at 7am. which was a wrong choice, cuz i was sooo sleepy during tuition after that. 10-6pm tuition. kinda shiong. plus the fact that i totally lost focus today. was lost and unfocused. control teo nana. control! argh. when it comes to emotions, its a li' tough yea.
cant stop thinking la. as usual, usual me i know.
my phone bill is so gonna be rocket high this month. instead of exceeding my smses [which is the norm], i exceeded outgoing calls by having two late night calls. GAH. oh wells. at least caught up with 2 close friends.
i seriously cannot stop thinking. what on earth is wrong with me?!? urgh. stop it.. AHHHHH.
im so gonna scream soon. so gonna scream.

slightly disappointed.
apparently i dint manage to get the role of facilitator for orientation. which means no more commitment liaoz. when shall we do horseriding then? june or july? now i really really really want the shanghai yep. dont let me be disappointed again.

and maybe i shouldnt think so much. the more i think, the more i think, the more i expect, the more i wont get anything ultimately. emotionally i mean.
i dont know how to continue. urgh.
i wonder if i can sleep tonight. sighhhh.