finally. i admit.

i freaked out. in the office today. nearly cried. and i tried not to tear. which i did successfully. but not without a reddish nose that suggested tearing. which led to mrs wong asking me if i was alright. oops.

feeling much better now. after talking to her. and i hope i dont think rubbish tonight. which is imposible. sigh. how not to? im dead certain i screwed up my papers. at least now i think i did. sighh. i need to talk to somebody. but who. good question. everybody will be so.. i dont know.

dont wanna go out tonight or tmr morning with my friends. i guess i need to be alone. before i get my results. consider me weird consider me nonsensical. but i guess i just need to be alone. meeting for lunch is alright with me but i dont wanna move my ass to east coast park just to roller blade. or even to JEC to ice skate. i wont be in the mood to enjoy what im doing. dont wanna watch big fish tonight. i wanna watch it some other time. just not tonight. sorry ruoling. i dont wanna go out for dinner tonight, though i know you most prolly can get to book out. sorry mok.

i'm still really quite scared. thankfully tim told me hwa chong does not post everybody's results on a board for the whole world to see. i'd rather just die in that case. or i wont even appear in school. just get somebody in class to msg me my results, and so that i can hide in my room and cry. seriously la. im so going to screw up.

everybody has different ideas of screwing up. kailyn's idea of screwing up is not getting 4As. my idea of screwing up is not getting AABB. and not hitting the average in hwa chong itelf. which seems pretty darn high. and that is the plain reason why i think i WILL screw up.

what the freaking hell la.