finally. things were more or less looking up tonight. it wasnt entirely. but one email changed my entire mood for the past half an hour. yay!

basic simple reason. i got the letter of offer from SMU accountancy!!!! wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
okay i know that was long. but still. i was waiting anxiously for their reply. and somehow i had this nagging feeling that if i dint hear from them today, my chances would be gone. as in literally gone. because they said i would hear from them within one week. and i had my interview on monday. and to be frankly honest, i was kinda demoralised after my interview because i saw four rgs girls on that day of the interview when i stepped into the office. and horror of horror, my interview was slated to be the last of the day. so when i finally stepped into the interview room, it was already 5pm. when i was there since 315. oh wow. and i dint feel that good after the interview. so i thought i blew my only chance. but they offered me a place! yay! finally. one thing right for the night.

things that got me pissed off today. im not going to go into the details. but.
1. most people by now should know that i hate people "duaing" me. so yeah. dont try to pull that off me.
2. i hate people who break promises. absolutely detest. yeah.
3. the bloody teacher who criticised my student for not performing well. she does not have the right to criticise MY students when she doesnt even know what the hell she was doing this morning. it's not our fault if you couldnt give us the bloody information on time, allowing me more time to train my students. my students are already bloodly upset enough and there you go, saying 'hey you boy. spoilt the whole thing by reading from the paper.' you know how much it hurts? it hurt me as well. who cares if the goddamn school wins? i dont quite care. my students are more important than the face of the fucking school. you hurt my boy and indirectly hurt me as well. bitch la you. no point thanking me for training the students. it was the students who performed. thank the students, not me. they could have chose to back out last minute, for not having enough time to prepare. like the other school. but they chose to do their very best. where's your training as a teacher? to be a wet blanket and gloat and scold when people have already done their best and the competition is over? for goodness sake, it's only a BLOODY GROUP STORY TELLING COMPETITION!

next.

if you dont have time for a simple phone call. i really dont know. just a simple request. to help me get my steam off for today. and i cant even find anybody to talk to. if you are someone special, but not there most of the time. i dont see the point. i dont feel the so called 'care and concern' that both parties are to show to each other. communicating via sms is not the way to do things. keep telling me to take care. nothing. it means nothing to me. everybody says take care. through smses. what the hell. sometimes it seems quite stressful. and tired. and lonely. people just pointedly assumes that when anybody has somebody special, all the time will be spent with that person. utter crap. seriously utter crap. i still have plenty of time on my hands now. marking papers and looking after my students. and my social life is a total failure. sigh.

im just plain thankful that i did still get to eat dinner with fishball and gab at tiong bahru plaza just now. chilling out at bk, talking and catching up, going back on memories of jc and interact. had such a great time.
had a great time at com serve just now. the kids simply make me forget all my bottled up anger and frustrations. how i wish to lead a simple life. like the kids. so naive and innocent. nothing to complicate matters. except that their family background might be different. but it simply touches your heart, to hear a kid say "jie, i wish you be my neighbour, so that i can go to your house and you can come to my house and we can play with each other everyday". just a simple sentence like that, is so much better than a cold sms 'take care'.
treated my three little uns to bk in the afternoon as well. hid my anger at the teacher from them pretty well. and looking at them eating with satisfaction and delight simply melted my heart.

maybe that's why i crave for human company. it's more real. and sincere cos you actually get to see the person's facial expressions and actions. actions speak louder than words. always. and somewhere in that company, there will be often something, that will touch the heart. and make things all much clearer.

if i offend anybody up there. who cares. im damn bloody pissed now.
and if you know me. im always like that when im heated up. at the extreme end.
things can only cool by tmr.
what the hell.