did com serve on the sat before block test. goodness, the kids were so great and wonderful.. same bunch of children we brought to botanic gardens and fort canning park last dec.. they're jus so sweet, chirpy.. and some of them still remember us as the "jiejie"s and "korkor"s who brought them there. hee. kids like vinod, angelene, jaspreet, manspreet.. they're such angels, as in not "guai" but such cute lovable children ... Some new kids joined as well, there's a sister-brother pair whose names are cherry pie respectively .. as in, the sister cherry and the brother pie .. ahh.. so CUTE!! All the volunteers almost couldnt control tehm. and surprise surprise, one of them happens to be a hc alumni who came from 93S33! so coincidental .. wondered why logan dint turn up, wanted to confirm with him if he is studying at boon lay garden pri.. cos i thought i saw him before on 157 in the mornings before ..

Beginning is easy �
Continuing is hard.

All things are difficult before they are easy.

Anger of the mind is poison to the soul.
-- Ecuadorian Proverb

Anger is one of the sinners of the soul.
-- Thomas Fuller

Revenge has no more quenching effect on emotions than salt water has on thirst.
-- Walter Weckler

this is the beginning of the March Hols, which cannot be said as holidays, for many students would be using this period of time to mug, for the many upcoming dreaded tests. Yours Sincerely here, has gotten tired of mugging -again- therefore she decides to start crapping within her own blog. =P

Feelings these few days have toned down alot, starting to feel not as stressed as before but definitely, the presence of the sudden depression that had occured over the past week still lingers, waiting to be triggered. Im trying to relax as much as possible by reading alot of my fave books, which in turn cuts down on my time to mug, which is not a good sign. But books like James Patterson's !st to die and Second Chance is great, but the best that i've read these few days is Michael Palmer's Flashback. His medical thrillers are simply too good to put down.. i started on his book in the late evening and finished it by 1am the next morning cos i just couldnt put it down. =) people who know me would probably know that im starting to sound like my old self again. Im trying to find some light hearted books that are humourous to read but to no avail. Anybody who knows of such books, please tell me.

Went to the NUS open house just recently on saturday and im sort of made up my mind where i wanna go even im only entering uni nxt year. hopefully mu grades would allow me to enter the faculty i want and let me stay in the hall that i wanna stay in.. it's amusing to see how the undergraduates had assumed me and my friend to be pple who were going to enter NUS this year, by approaching us and start rambling on and on abt the many camps that they are going to hold this year when me and my friend would probably be using that period of time to mug for the Alevels. How interesting. It's amazing to hear that there are actually different halls with different spirits and competitive levels.. so based on that i made up my mind where to go, and hopefully it's not going to be a wrong choice.

Holidays are like, no holidays. every student should get what i mean. Out of the 7 days in the march holidays, im busy for 4 days, with interact business, back to sch for make up sessions and one day engin lab tour at the NUS engin campus .. the last item should be rather interesting i hope, though i wun probably be doing science in uni ( i hope). i realise the choices that i've made for Uni has totally no relevance to the combination of subjects that im doing so far. how ironic.

a week has passed since the "traumatising" day, so as to speak. this whole week was like an emotional rollercoaster, to put it simply. to put it in a more complex way, i started to find out that im not what i think, and not what i used to be. i dont seem to be the "leader" i think, and not the confident self that i used to be back in RG. Maybe coming to hc was all a big mistake. And a mistake, might lead me into making more mistakes, some of which i might never know. Maybe coming to Hc was really a big mistake. Should have stayed at Rj and be a small nobody. but some things just happen to turn out like that. what to do?

I know this still sounds depressing but i still am. just not as bad as sunday morning. i know i can make it , but i have absolutely no idea where my damned "potential" went to ever since i stepped into hc. that's why i say i made a big mistake in coming hc. still struggling to cope with fm. cross my fingers and pray that i'll pass the fm blk test. sigh. going to sch nowadays is such a chore. having to put up a cheery face for all to see so that people wld not come mind my business. im not saying i dont like that little care and concern but i dont wanna spoil everybody's moods by going around with a glum face all the time. sch is tiring. maybe today was okay. for once i stopped thinking about my depression. for once. nearly blew it on thursday, and i had to escape from the concerned looks of my classmates. i knew if i dint hide away, their concern wld cause me to break down in sch and that's definitely something i dont want. so be it i guess.

i have no idea how to keep myself happy. any idea anybody?

*keep smiling*

if at times you feel you want to cry
and life seems such a trial
above the clouds there's a bright blue sky
so make your tears a smile
as you travel on life's way
with it's many ups and downs
remember it's quite true to say
one smile is worth a dozen frowns
among the expensive things
a smile is very cheap
and when you give a smile away
you get one back to keep
happiness comes at times to all
but sadness comes unbidden
and sometimes a few tears must fall
among the laughter hidden
so when friends have their sadness on their faces
and troubles round them piled
the world will seem a better place
and all because you smiled.

one nice poem i got from a friend when i was feeling down in sec2. thanks ling, i need just a smile now.

well, almost a month has passed after my previous blog entry. so many things has happened.
valentine's day, dramafeste, the release of Olevel results, the release of the Alevel results.
for once im actually feeling stressed. like real stressed. the only other time i felt like this was in sec 4, when the prelims were round the corner. and it was the prelims, not the Olevels. right now im already getting stressed up over a minute block test. i really dont know what's wrong with me. i've been feeling this way ever since the Alevel results were out. everybody did so well. i know i shld be happy for them but suddenly i just felt so stupid. 4As are like everywhere when i even have trouble trying to get passing grades. i simply dont understand what happened to me after i stepped in JC. maybe i should have went humans or s7, where life seems more normal due to the absence of fmaths and where interesting subjects like bio and econs are around. and i used to lurve geog and lit back in sec sch. why am i in double maths? im simply at a loss. sad case.

maybe i should not dwell on such matters. makes one feel as though there's no more hope. on to more interesting stuff that happened in my life. aside from feeling stressed out that is. valentine's day was fun. running around and exchanging presents with friends. sad to say, i dint have a date. but by the looks of myself, i doubt if i would ever get one in the near future. sad case again right? im such a failure.. okay. i should start telling myself i should not feel depressed. i should not feel depressed. i should not feel depressed. i should not feel depressed. i should not feel depressed.

dramafeste was fun. got to know alot of people in the process of everything. all the juniors, plus some of my yrmates. seriously, it was a very good way to get to know more people within the faculty. and all of us had fun, tho we dint win anything. it's all in the name of fun i guess. sposed to go to the fac head's hse tmr for bbq but im simply too lazy to drag myself to the other end of spore. haha.

Release of Olevels results. we were all so worried for the juniors, but glad to say they all can make it. now it's just a matter of whether they wanna stay within the fac anot. some confirm switching out, like my dear adopted mortal, but it cant be helped i guess, since she had already made up her mind to leave s3 and move to s6. probably she finds fm too challenging. i should have been like her, be harsh and jus leave, cutting myself loose of all the emotional ties. but most of them staying i guess. even if something like merging and splitting of classes happen this year, i wont be surprised. afterall they're a pure local class, cant expect much from the school admin i guess. afterall, we came by this before.

life is so busy nowadays. especially with interact having so much things coming up. convention, elections, IU week. hopefully i'll have time to sit down and start mugging proper. life sux basically.
till the next time...