talks of taiwan taipei trip underway! whoowhee i feel damn excited about it. grin.
olevels results out, my sis got her A1 and distinction. grin. looking forward to my treat girl. muahahaha. mm.
looking forward to the end of today. then it would be tuesday, when i have driving and meeting. long bus ride to ncss, i like. grin.
then wed. kinda slack day even though i have a full day in sch. cuz i have american idol and AR7. hee. then thurs free day! finally, end of CT, one more free day. grin. then friday.
then volunteer networking camp 2004/2005 starts officially on saturday!
whee cant wait.

looking sooo forward to taiwan trip! :)
aye uk trip off. hum. joyce and fishball, where are we going now? or are we gonna stay in sunny singapore? guess you guys are busy mugging for CAs now to answer my questions. blearh.
hum.
hopefully, i have the time to bunk over in ruoling's room on 110305 after the jazz beatles concert at nus ucc. grin. explore nus at night, not that there would be much, and see whats hall life like for one night. yayy!

ahhhhhh im damn freaking tired. so super tired. having a headache. and a backache. such that i refuse to work on my lappie at my table. leaning against the wall on my bed typing out the as group project now. trying to crap something out by tonight so that i can send it to them tonight. and focus whatever time i have left on my hands on my finance homework and bgs individual assignment.

today has been such a hectic day.

such a nice morning to sleep in, when it started raining for that short while, i wanted to simply snuggle back into bed and sleep. i really wanted to. but tekka beckoned me. dragged myself out of bed to meet the vnc people at tekka shengsiong to do shopping prep for camp next weekend. holly cow its next weekend! whoowhee i cant wait. grin. turned out i was the earliest. everybody came along, went shopping for the necessities. soontien got a little kiddish halfway and wanted to buy sets of ultraman as prizes for the participants. muahahaha.
then lugged big bags all around bugis rochor area, walking in search of a 1kg sugar to no avail.
gave up after encircling the wholesale place and made our way over to concourse to get more materials. and i met someone whom i'd never thought i'd ever meet again, MR LOGAN! ahhhhh. so coincidental and so nice to see him again! no wonder i found him sooo familar when i first saw him at the top level of concourse!!! ahhhh. he was buying stuff for his daughter's first birthday (come to think about it, it was last year this time when his wife gave birth to a new baby daughter :) ) it was nice to see and talk to him again.. and his son was soo cute! rubeun i think, cuz he was shy and spoke very softly.. awwww. it was nice to catch up with him again, and he asked about kailyn and yanlian too. grin. (: then i splurged $15 on 3 books, cheapo hurt books (which looked as though they were in not too bad conditions) one on patterson, one oliver twist and one on some unknown author but the book looked good. grin. then we went back to NCSS by bus 100. cuz there were 5 of us, we couldnt take cab. wanted to take the mrt, but edmund saw the bus 100 and it dawned on him that 100 could bring us right back to ulu pandan cc so we boarded the bus with the big big big bags of stuff and headed "home". fell asleep on the bus while listening to music. went for lunch with them, had a nice chat about 3G phones. I WANT THE NEW NOKIA PHONE WHICH COSTS ABOUT $900++, some nice soul get it for me please.. nokia 6680 i think. the newest 3G phone. muahaha. then started wrapping the prizes since i seemed like the only one who was capable of wrapping presents. hahaha. and finally when we were done, time to head down to smu for ma project.

cabbed down, cuz i was too lazy to find out how to get from ghim moh to smu. hee. i bet i could take buses, but i'd have to change and all. cannot be bothered, hence take cab. (: the taxi uncle i met was very interesting.. it was his first time relieving his brother in law for taxi duty and he found it all refreshing. had a jolly good chat with him along the way, and gave him a small little tip of 10 cents at the end of the cab trip, for making the cab trip such an enjoyable one. he's a little like me, cant seem to keep my mouth shut when we're on a roll talking. hahaha.

stayed in sch with my dearest favourite ma group until about 8 doing ma project, and by the end of it, i was brain dead, dead tired and ready to konk any moment. think when the three of us walked out of school tonight, we were a little crazy alr. just a little mad due to lack of sleep and whatnots. there's ma presentation on monday. ahhhh. its quite amusing. in the past, i would bother to write out nicely and rehearse at home umpteen times for my presentations. now, nay i dont have the time, and maybe with a little more experience, not much practice is required. oh wells. grin.

i want to sleep. whineeeeeeeeeee.
and tim toh refuses to tell me who that little bird was. whine. whine whine whine. hahaha.
currently hooked onto chinese old (but not so old, just our pri and sec sch chinese songs) songs, all thanks to jialing. muahahaha.

I'll be the first to admit this.
i played too much during term break. which is true, considering the past two days were so super fun (:
i'm still a little high from kboxing just now with yuan and joycez! muahaha. yuan is such a siao girl when it comes to ktv, right yuan? grin. we had our ups and downs during kbox, first we went totally high, then there was a period of time we three were just so seh yuan and joyce had already curled up on the sofa looking ready to fall asleep and i was half awake. then right before 7 when our time was almost up, we went totally high again, singing the lyrics properly considering we thought we had only a few minutes to finish whatever songs we had left in the list. then the amusing thing happened. 1. the kbox people dint send the bill to us before 7,it only came at 715. cuz by right, the bill should arrive 10 minutes before 7, or about that time. by left, we think they forgot. that's alright. by right [AGAIN] they were supposed to come collect our money and bill from us. but by left, they dint. so we sang all the way to 745, before we decided to shoo ourselves home [joyce proclaimed it was the first time she shooed herself outta kbox]. which means it was almost an extra 50 minutes free cuz me and yuan entered kbox at 155pm. soo. we walked out and the staff looked a little surprised [bet no one had left on their own accord before.] and asked us if we wanted the bill. apparently they thought we havent been billed. amusing. yuan handled the bill, while i commented "no one came to collect the bill from us lei.." and the manager gave his staff the eye. muahahhaa. i saw that!!! the staff were a little embarrassed but oh wells, we gained 50 free minutes! muahaha. ktv can get you on such a high, and FIR's wo yao fei is such a good destressing song, you sing your lungs out and destress. not that im that stressed, considering how much im playing. and oh, we sang that song three times. hee.

my vocal cords are tired now. but. but. but. i wanna ktv again! clementi is a good place to ktv, since there's party world and kbox. yuan, joyce, we should do that some time soon! but i guess it would be after exams.. anyone who wants to k songs, can jio me also.. hee. cuz i dunno who would ktv aside from my usual kakis. grin.

plus yesterday i went to ntu, wanting to trash lixin's hall room. but there was barely enough stuff to trash, considering she is gonna move out by next monday. humph. :P
and canteen 2 has good and cheap food. not fair. smu has expensive and lousy food. BLEARH.
went down for sheares production after that and it was quite amusing. the play "white liars black comedy" was not the thought provoking sort, but more on the funny side. according to ruoling, the first play "white liars" was not meant to be funny, but apparently the audience [i.e. us ] thought it was funny and laughed, especially at the twist. hehehe. then "black comedy" was super funny! it was really nice, and the cast was good. thought the gyspy did a good job, but one of the female leads in "black comedy", her voice was super whiny, such that whenever she spoke and teh-ed, the audience cringed for her. and i really mean, the audience.
i like watching plays.
gave ruoling her sunflower after that and was kena-ed dragged by the both of them to fong seng for a quickie supper. the dinosaur was really good. then cabbed back home with xinxin while dropping ruoling on the way. i wonder when would be the next time i would see those two again. prolly after the exams. yeah. hum.. *twiddles thumb* i promise i'll fix monstar's eye *crosses fingers behind my back* grin.

on a very happy note, my spouse has a partner! go figure. grin.

proper school is starting again, not that this week dint feel like a school week, considering im going back to school on 4 days out of the 9 day break we have from sat to monday, but that also means i dont get the freedom to play as much as i like as compared to this week. my mummy dint complain at all about my going out, esp yesterday and today when i reached home much later than what i promised her i would. so yeaps, kudos to her *muacks mummy*
thanks to all my non smu friends whom i missed alot during sch term but got the chance to catch up with. i even saw fluff [i.e. sarah] on bus 156 today! to people like ruoling lixin venus eileen jingwen yuan joycez *muacks to you all too* *BIG HUGS*
thanks to all my smu friends who made class interesting and fun, even though we had to go back for 2 classes and meet up tons for projects. *muacks and hugs* going out to my CT group peeps who are super duper nice [anna kelvin sara elaine and yixin], cuz we were the only group which sent out girls in casual wear cuz the lovable guys wanted to let the girls have a chance to speak instead. thankew so much. *muacks and hugs* going out to my MA group [elaine yixin jialing gina] cuz our meetings were never boring! I LOVE MY MA GROUP! I LOVE MY MA GROUP! I LOVE MY MA GROUP! hahaha im still on a high...
bring me down, someone. bring me down.
i feel as though im on top of the world, feeling totally exhilrated and delighted.
never felt so good in ages. not even when i was with him last year. goes to show that you dont have to be attached, in order to feel loved pampered and happy, cuz your friends would do that for you too. *muacks* to all my friend. (:


on another note.
yesterday's msn conversation was damn obvious la.
i wonder if you realise you were sending out the wrong signals.
and if my crush on you had not faded away, i would start thinking too much.
as for now, i'll wait and see. what may come along, will come along.
and i'll see if i'll hop in for a ride.

american idol 4 is damn exciting!
in any case, here are the results of last night's show.
jared yates and judd harris booted off from the guys' side, sarah mather and melinda lira from the girls' side. checked out the forum cuz i cant watch the results show tonight cuz i'll prolly be still at nus or on my way home from sheares production..
whee travis tucker is soooo super shuai..
so does mario vazquez (: they both have the same smile that makes me go weak at my knees..
plus they are good as well (: in fact, i'd think the guys are stronger than the girls this year.. the girls are kinda weak.. though i would say that melinda lira shouldnt have been eliminated cuz she's better than some other girls really. and can america send constantine off? he irks me, trying to charm and rock at the same time. urgh.
whee. so so exciting (:

cant wait for next week. 830 all the way to 1230. american idol, news, american idol, amazing race. whoowhoo! and no school on thursday!
i have a THREE day week! wheeeEEeeeeEEEEeeeeeeeeee!
plus VNC 0405 is on that same weekend! i cant wait!! lalalala. hee.

people either have brains or beauty. you cant have both.
if you happen to have both, you're missing something in your life.
it may be wealth, health, personality or something else.
in short, life is fair. no one is perfect and you cant have everything, so live with it.
maybe life might be better for some, than others.
but remember, what comes around comes around.
so if you dont have it now, it will come seek you in future.

that was what xiaowei venus and me came to conclude as we were walking home this evening.
quite meaningful huh. trust venus to come up with something like this, cuz she initiated it! grin.
today was nice, saw xiaowei and jingwen. i was surrounded by the ex canoeists, who are all fairer than me now! ahhhh. even ruoling has a lighter tan than me. hee hee. (: and it was nice to see eileen again, albeit she popped by for only a while. and xinxin couldnt make it down in time. never mind, i'll wreck her hall room on thurs for xinxin. (: oh and when we were going home, me and venus saw christine [yahui, remember christine?] she called out to us, and we stood there quite awkwardly considering i dint quite talk to her that much after sec 2 and venus wasnt that close to her. oh wells.

ooh and ray is nice (: very meaningful show, the music is esp nice, considering ray charles songs were coming out one after another. if you are a thirties/sixties jazzy blues freak like me, you'll find yourself swaying to the music in the cinema like an idiot and beaming to yourself about the music. (: and jamie foxx is definitely a damn good actor. hopes he wins the grammys for the best actor. for a long time, you will mistake jamie joxx for ray charles, cuz they both are simply so talented with the piano.

sometimes how'd i wish that i was born in a different era, during the thirties to sixties where swingin' jazz blues was the norm, unlike the trashy hiphop rap music we hear on airways nowadays. old song lyrics are so much more meaningful as compared to the **** lyrics you hear from rapping nowadays. im not condemning all, but there are some trash that you'd rather not hear. maybe thats the reason why most people our age dont listen to perfect 10 nowadays. its appalling to see how music has evolved. in the past there were black jazz blues singers like nat king cole, and ray charles. now rap/hip hop is considered black music. see the extreme difference? anyways. to each his own.

anyways. a few more days to the release of Olevels. not that i care. that much. but my sis is getting back her olevel chinese. and she's convinced that she has only a few more days to live, cuz she's dreading the release of results. mmm. i bet she'll get an A1. considering she's my sis. muahaha. we're better at languages. (: grin. just look at her big sis! *beams* yea im getting a little self ego here, but i cant deny that fact myself. grin. just that i flopped at gp. blearh.

ahhhh. im tired. but im still working on projects. trying to finish them, but i dont think i can. ahhhh.

schedule revision:

monday: meeting elaine+xin @ 11am + CT final class @ 230pm
tuesday: lunching with ruoling xin eileen venus and jingwen
wednesday: MA meeting @ 11am, AS meeting @ 130pm, tuition @ Rachelle @ 4pm
thursday: xin's hall+dinner+sheares hall production
friday: BGS class @ 10am + ktv with yuan and joycez [teo shuyuan, dont pangseh me and joycez!]
saturday: shopping at tekka mall @ 10am + tuition @ 2pm.

now whatever happened to the free days im supposed to have during term break. heh. hopefully no more meetings scheduled. hopefully. *prays really hard*

wheeee! individual CT presentation is finally over :) one that all of us have agonised over. finally. now countdown to the last CT lesson, which is on next monday. group presentation then, but we havent quite started on it yet. working on it tmr. i have 3 meetings tmr! MA, AS and CT. then tuition. then the term break starts. or rather, i've alr been in a holiday mood ever since cny. i mean, look at it this way, a week of cny hols, then 4 days of school, and its term break again!
not that i think i would be studying much during term break.
schedule so far:

monday (210205) - CT class at 230pm.
tuesday (220205) - lunch (and hopefully movie) with xin ruoling and eileen. any more people coming?
wednesday (230205) - free day (so far)
thursday (240205) - crash xin's hall + dinner + sheares hall production
friday (250205) - BGS class (10 - 115) + ktv with yuan, joycez
saturday (260205) - shopping for VNC at tekka shengsiong + tuition

something tells me i better start studying first. i had better. im alr damn lost in bgs and biz law. cuz i havent quite bothered reading the readings as yet. and there's bgs test in week 10. 3 weeks from now. hee. and exams start on 110405. coming soon.
waaaahhhh time flies! now its alr mid term. in the twinkling of an eye, it will be end of term!
i cant believe it.
maybe cuz im enjoying myself too much now.
i went a little high while waiting for my turn during CT just now.
i cant wait for the end of CT. next monday! and then, adios christina lee. :)
i wonder how many anti-christina-lee blogs can we find, if we google christina lee. muahahaha.
im being really mean here. super mean. but im dead convinced i'll be getting a C and below anyways, considering im a GIRL. acks.

meanwhile im waiting for american idol, and working on AS worksheet at the same time. im watching too much tv, and playing too much. shrugs.

after last night and today.

i realise i have alot of friends around me. just that i might not make the effort to keep up with some, but we still remain in each others heart somehow. we may not see each other in years. or months. but we are always around. its only a matter of remembering them, and thinking of them.

im perfectly happy with life @ smu now. maybe cuz i found myself an anchor, something all girls need. people like elaine and yixin who are always there for me, thank you girls. *hugs* but that doesnt mean i forget about friends elsewhere. friends whom i've shared wonderful memories with. if i go down the timeline, i would find plenty of chums, who are all over the world now. and im pretty sure, if you put us together all over again, we'll have a real good time just catching up. was talking to lixin last night, and we both agreed that we both would like to meet up more often, together with ruoling and the rest of the people. but somehow, others simply have different priorities on their list. and friends, dont seem to rank as high up.

i know myself perfectly well. that im a diehard for my friends. give me any chance to catch up with friends, no matter how busy i may be, i will try to squeeze out time to meet up with them. which explains why i jumped at the chance for the psl gathering this morning, cuz i havent seen them for ages. had a pleasant surprise when qihui smsed me last night. and was glad for her action in trying to get us all together. today's turnout was alright, considering most people has school and some are not in singapore, given our small size of 18, being able to get 4 was a nice number. coupled with the fact that mrs chia was there, made the trip all more warmly and worthwhile. had a pleasant time catching up with el qihui shang and mrs chia, and at the same time hear mrs chia grumble about the current rg system, and talking about everything, anything. its the pleasant feeling throughout the entire session that made me felt so comfortable, considering the last time i saw them was in july 2003. its alr 2005. see the time lapse? went borders and we walked around for a while, browsing books, and just talking. us threesome got stuck at the stationary section of popular [as usual, considering the infamous habit of major stationary purchasing is a hobby of rg girls ;) ] looking at pens, highlighters, files, notebooks and desperately trying to stop ourselves from buying too much. el refused to get go of the markers she saw at 2 bucks. (: and then, i fondly remembered the times when me and ruoling were at the exact same location, doing major pen shopping, and leaving popular with almost 10 bucks worth of pens each, all coloured. but hey, these stationary spur us on to mug, and make notes. (: ended the journey at mos, where we simply caught small bites, and parted after that. nice morning. grin.

had a rather different night last night. people who know me knows that i seldom talk on the phone. seldom. but last night was marathon phone night. lixin wanted to talk, so we yakked about anything for nearly 1 hour odd 2 hours. tried grilling her about her love life, but to no avail. as usual. muahaha. then tim called, surprise of all surprise. and we talked for about 2 hours? wanted to turn in early, but ended up sleeping at nearly 1.30am in the morning. and i was supposed to wake up early this morning cuz i had driving. but it felt really nice talking to them, got a huge load of my mind. thanks for talking to me (:



back on the friends topic.
friends in sec school are usually your friends for life. that was what jun's mum, mrs wong, said.
which i guess, its true. a 2 year jc is too short for strong friendships. i count my blessings that i found wonderful friends in lixin and ruoling *hugs* but its apparent that the others are slowly drifting away. hence lixin and ruoling are true gems. just within a short span of 2 years. me and ruoling would prolly have ended up as casual acquaintances if we werent given this second chance, since we were both from rg, but different classes different houses, different ccas. i guess it all boils down to fate.

but sec sch is a different story all together. 4 whole years. these 4 years happen to be in the period when your character is developing, your mind is maturing, and when people, matters, things create the biggest impact in your development. this is when you start realising the importance of friends, friendship and when you truly appreciate them. people like junhui, wanyu and joycez. my sec 1 to 4 close buddies. they've never been strangers to me ever since we got together since sec 1. people like joycet, whom i only knew and got close to since sec 4, she's been never far from my heart ever since then. people like fishball, we've been through so much together, 403, hadley house, cybermatrix, spsl. so much so much. throughout the all 4 years. if i had stayed on in redcross, my yearmates, people like cynthia and jorin, whom i used to be extremely close to in lower sec. but my main focus was PSB. the one that moulded me into who i am today, the one that made me find out more about myself, and redefined what i wanted to do in future. really thankful for peer support board, and the friends i've made inside. we went through so much together during our 2 years as psl, and then spsl. psl camp, orientation, sessions with sec ones, convention, carnival. all 18 of us. mrs chia asked us today, "what did you bring away from PSB?" then it dawned upon me that PSB is the one that made me today, made me clear of what i truly wanted to do outside from school, it gave me skills that fellow peers would learn it much later. skills that was imparted during LTB course last year, those were already instilled into me when i was at the tender age of 15/16. learning to be resourceful, learning to build on each others' strengths, learning to listen, learning to help others. all these came from Peer Support Board. at the same time, the interaction with sec ones, was fulfiling and insightful. we were once sec ones, and as psls, we got to be sec ones again. we understood how they feel, listened to their woes. im pretty sure all psls enjoyed their term as a psl, before stepping down. glad that i made the choice to continue, and be a spsl. where stronger bonds were made, closer friends found. im really honoured to be a senior peer support leader. this morning had just got me reflecting. though PSB may not be something like the PB, which most [i emphasise most] students would look up to, especially the sec ones, it has coloured my sec sch life, and gave me so much. im really really thankful and honoured.




may the spirit of peer support never die.

vday is over. well, almost anyway. (:
been such a busy day. went for MA in the morning, then dropped by haven for a quickie lunch before going over to SA booth to help debbie sell flowers for SA. debbie is such a sweetie!! (: *muacks to her* had a busy busy time selling flowers at the booth, and the flowers aint very pretty i must admit. got laurene in a rage, and wanted to exchange with the vendor who had another booth here. debbie is so sweet such that she dint have the heart to argue with the vendor.. then things dint go quite well for charlie em and anna.. last min cancelled the event at house 1, and they seemed pretty upset. ): its alright girl.. then was trying to settle last min debts for the booths, selling flowers, returning deposits, and kena "convinced" by booth people to buy stuff from their booths.. and tei-ed at one booth when i was returning the deposit and got one small rose in return from the guy (: how nice. hahaha. and debbie bought me and laurene a styrofoam heart each, very pretty (: and ate jialing's and elaine's chocs this morning during MA. cny over liaoz still pigging out on chocs. ahhhh.
busy busy busy. but i like today! (:
dunno, just fun, and happily occupied. (: i like life like that. hehehehe.

belated vday pressies for elaine xin and jialing! give it to them on wed. cuz most of my pressies takers i'll only see them on wed (:
i WILL remember to bring it on wed.

as for now,
happy vday to all!
im glad im dateless today.
cuz i need to pia work, and rest for one day.
right now, there's a couple fooling ard beside me.
in finance class. think who.
muahaha.

sometimes one shouldnt expect so much out of something so little.
disappointment seeps in and affects you that much.
even though the action was a little wild and nonsensical.
why should i have even thought of doing something so idiotic in the first place?
ahh. it only serves as a reminder to myself.
that im not as ___________ as what i could/should/may be.
oh wells. what will come my way, will come along. its only a matter of time.
*i hope*


had kbox session with my cousins last night.
thoroughly enjoyed myself (:
we have our own teo family "yanzi", "andy lau/ah du", "fanfan" and many whatnots. me, was just singing songs to whichever that came along and i found familar [considering i havent been listening to chinese songs for a super long time]. it was really really fun, considering we k-boxed for 6 straight hours. and i got home nearly 2am in the morning. daddy and sa-bei came to fetch us home, cuz there were 7 of us and two cars had to come bring us back to our respective homes. we should do that more! more more more! hahahaha.

not really in the mood to blog actually.
that incident actually affected me that much.
so much for. haiz.
its alright. walk on babes walk on.

my family on nian chu yi (:  

eileen and me! (: 

cheryl and sis refusing to turn around. muahaha.  

yummy food spread eileen and family prepared..  

gu gu, sis, me and weiping 

me and my naughty niece nadine on nian chu er 

my sis and her new found boyfriend, nicholas (:  

hell of a two days has passed since cny eve.
busy visiting, busy eating, busy playing, busy gossiping! muahaha. i love my cousins (: both paternal and maternal side. i suppose i got closer to both sides this new year and this is definitely a very very good sign (:

CNY Chu Yi

morning, went to pay our respects to my ah gong, went back to ah ma's place by noon. played hosts to the visiting people, and talked to a few of my relatives [whom i kinda had no idea how we were related, but thats beside the point since i always see them during cny. hehe. on further discussion with cousins and parents, we came to the conclusion that those families were the extended families of my ah ma's brother. yea. ] in the meantime, since there were a few amazing race addicts in the house, we managed to catch the last half hour of the amazing race 6 live on axn amidst the loud voices that perpetuated the entire small living room. it was rather like watching moving figures on the tv box, and straining to catch what the remaining three pairs were saying. kris and jon dint win! *grumbles* oh wells. the new season starts 2 march! whee i cant wait. meanwhile i can just satisfy myself with american idol. grin. then moved off to wai po's house at ard 2 plus, rather early i thought. but not as my mum claims to be. turned out we werent the earliest to reach. si yi and her entourage of daughters-with-boyfriends/husbands were there alr. one was commenting that she felt weird giving out angbaos, cuz she just got married last year (: she looked pretty (: but then again, all my female cousins are pretty (: slowly everyone came around, and the highlight of the day was when elvin announced that he has got himself a girlfriend, while on the other side of the house, his mum was telling her sisters [i.e. my aunties and mummy] that no, elvin does not have a gf. hahahahaha. immediately, exclamations of surprise and shock filled the room and everybody started bugging for information. like how they bugged justin too. hahaha. damn funny la. was super amused. then the entire entourage of families [by then alot of people were in the small living room and there was barely space to stand nor sit] moved down to the 7th floor where my xiao jiu and his family was located. stayed there for bout half hour, then moved to the fifth floor where eileen and family awaited us! haha. my gossip partner-in-crime (: watched tv, talked to elvin who happily plopped himself beside me for a while as we talked about school, got squeezed in between elvin and elton ): grin. dinner time! eileen and her family cooked one wonderful dinner! yummy (: brought food to eileen's room and started talking.. my sis and cheryl got so super bored by us [cuz we were talking about people we knew back from hwachong] and went over to the other room. that was when the fun began when we started gossip researching! hahaha. our tool in crime, friendster. muahaha. talked for a hell long time, when we finally went home just in time to catch channel 5's amazing race. (: and promptly fell asleep in the last half hour of the AR6. hee.

CNY Chu Er

happily thought we werent going visiting in the morning, hence snuggled deeply into my bed when my mum tried to wake me up at 8. she dragged me out and proclaimed we were going leave house by 9am. nuts! went house-a-visiting and went back to the same lao gu's place who came to ahma's place yesterday. did nothing much there really, except when my mum and dua mu started saying me and weiling cuzzie really looked very alike. came from the same mould from our ah gong, whereas my sis and weiping took the genes of my ah-ma. hahaha. then popped over to justin's place for a while which was just a few blocks away in cck. talked to ah-yi and uncle who were telling my parents the pros of getting cable. and thereby i promptly announced that if they were really gonna get cable, AXN is on my list of channels. hahaha. went back to ahma's place and met my little cuzzies!! more like, i think they are my cousins, distantly related [by how i dont know], but they were simply sooo cute! ahh. nicole, naomi, nadine and nicholas. my sis declared nicholas as her boyfriend. while naomi thought i was pretty and wanted me to make her as pretty as me, which led to me suggesting i chop my head off for her and she squealed in disgust. grin. hastily realised that waipo and group were coming over to our house at 2 plus and i had to be home by then, i made for fishball's place immediately (: and felt quite out of place there considering half her anat group plus tutor were there and i knew no one cept for joycie, kaihong and khaiwei. mm. of course, stuck to joycie the entire time but i had a fun time there (: nian chu er with two of my most wonderful friends (: took pictures, played with poppop and sotsot, forgot to bring notnot over, her mum's mee siam and cheesecake were wonderfully delicious! rushed home after that, wai po and people came along, entertained eileen by letting her hear budak pantai! (: then we all went down to ahyi's place at taman jurong after that. was watching "when a man becomes a women" with all the cousins, except for elvin who was busy with his gf cuz he brought her over under the insistence of every single auntie and uncle. muahahaa. quite pretty, the naively innocent sweet girl under the first impression. looks like a very very nice person. ntu year 2 acct student. (: then we played some magic cards in ahyi's bedroom and had lots of fun cooking up kok stories for each other with whatever kok predictions the cards came up. eileen, TAKE INITIATIVE! hahahaha. mine went sth like "the guy hasnt fallen in love with you yet, he only has good feelings for you so far. then, i must take hold of chances to ensure success" then the third one went sth like "a breakup is imminent, so just face the music." that was for my love life. erm. im not attached, so where's the imminent breakup? grin. but twice the cards predicted i was careless, which is rather accurate. but overall, we decided the pack of cards are kok. hahaha. then we got too caught up watching mulan, and laughing at the stupid jokes mushu [you know the dragon character? grin.] was making in the movie. hahaha. and that was the end of day 2.


Today school starts, but new year hasnt quite ended for me. yet. think today's the last day. supposed to go to dua mu's place. BUT i have bgs. ): blearh. and MA meeting. but joining my cousins for ktv-ing later in the evening till the wee hours of the morning. first time going ktv-ing with my paternal side, wonder how the experience will be like. if you were to tell me 3 years ago, that i'd be doing sth like this 3 years down the road with my paternal cousins, i wouldnt have believed it. but now. i suppose things have changed alot, for the better (: someday, i will grab eileen out and we can go shopping-gossiping-eating-movie watching together (: so that we cant say, the only times we see each other is during new year and waipo's birthday. lalala. dont you agree? [cuz i know you're reading this! hee.]

as for now, bgs beckons. and tuition starts tmr again, hence tuition beckons.
together with the shitload of work that i have left untouched over the entire 3 days ever since cny eve when i started playing till night befell.
and CT individual presentation is next week. i have an idea but i havent built on it yet. shite. ahhhh.
and how do i go about finding out space rental rates in places like holland v? ahhhhh.
and vday is next monday! ahhhhh. i have 2 classes, 1 CT meeting, and a full day event till 4. class ends at 645 and im dateless. oh wells. and. i havent finished vday shopping. shit.


i've been in lala land for the past 3 days. yea i guess i was. and prolly still is in it, as of today.

i love cny eve.
its the day where i catch up with most of my friends and yea have pre cny fun.

ever since sec sch days, my mum got used to me running about before going to ahma's house at boon lay. i can remember rather clearly, sec 1, she was waiting for me to reach home before we set off for ah ma's place together. she waited and waited. think she nearly blew her top when i reached home cuz it was almost 3 plus 4. usually my parents would have to reach boon lay as early as 12 plus cuz my mum would have to help prepare the reunion dinner. we still go for the traditional kind [not the family to go restaurant and settle for outside cooked food. we still have our steamboat and such.] hence i could understand why she blew her top on cny eve 1998.

the next year, i asked if i could go have lunch with my friends in town before coming home. that was sec two. she told me straight in the face, get my ass to ah ma's place by 4. and that "tradition" of mine continued ever then till today. i have the freedom to roam about anywhere i like, so long as i reach boon lay by 4 plus. and i never breached that promise to her. rg times, i went for reunion in sch uniform. same goes for hwachong days. we always went to town to
walk about and have lunch, catch a movie or two, chitter chatter our way through before parting for our own dinners. last year was no different. i rushed back to hc to meet them at around 10 plus after clerking at hillgrove.

this year. me had no school! heh cuz i have no classes on tuesday mah. grin. ramnik ponned her lectures [tsktsk naughty girl, but i half convinced her as well. lalala. ] and friends returned, slowly in dribs and drabs, but they came ultimately. yanlian was in school even earlier, cuz she reached at 8. we met at 830 [kinda funny sia, j4s returning at such a early time..] watched the performance and stoned for a while cuz there wasnt much to see. except for the fact that the wushu performance was darn funny! think kungfu hustle and imagine the scenes. muahaha.

waited for street market to start, at the same time yanlian joined us (: always as lovable as ever *muacks* (: snaked our way through the market and looked at the chao enthu j1s trying to sell their stuff. treated roo and jessie [roo that WAS jessie right?!?] to hotdogs [the taiwan kind] and then we went to look for ms jasmine ng [also known as mrs jasmine yap (: ] talking to her was such a riot, cuz she felt so much more like a friend then a tutor. really. so super nice, so easy
to talk to. must have talked to her for more than half an hour. (: ms debbie teo is no longer teaching at hc! [SHOUTOUT to all 02S3 people: MS DEBBIE TEO IS NO LONGER TEACHING AT HC] she went back to MOE to be some senior executive staff so missed her ): no wonder we dint manage to spot her while watching the performance. she was always easy to spot, and nice to talk to. sighh. then mok arrived! to think i thought he wasnt gonna come cuz he kept saying he wasnt going to. ha. hee. talked to him a little, then he went to look for teachers. then jinyang came along, after his run at ecp. poor thing lei, cny eve morning still got run at ecp. grin. but then again his life is slack as an officer now mah, newly commissioned. grin. then ruoling appeared! lugging da bao xiao bao de. nik had left by then as well. wanted to have lunch around coro area to convenient yanlian cuz she had to go back to nus for tutorial, but prince and ke ai ji and yong chye were either closed or had nothing to eat, so she went back to nus first to find lunch while me and ruoling [the lazy ones] walked over to serene to hail a cab. grin.

wanted to watch a movie, finding neverland or constantine, at that time, but we went to cine and couldnt find any movie and suitable timing [BTW constantine is not showing at cine. or rather, it wasnt showing today, weird huh, but it opens today. hmph.] in the end we settled down at suki and shared ala carte food. jinyang caught up with us for lunch after he looked for people in hc, then zhangqing joined us also. poor girl, she went to lido to look for us, then went to yuki, and finally came to suki. she looked so tired when she finally arrived. but we had a nice time crapping and catching up with each other, especially zq! havent seen her for such a long time le.

isnt it ironic that the friend i see most often is the one thats not in the same uni as me, ruoling (: and its the same for ruoling to. considering that there are many other classmates and friends in nus with her as well. i guess absence makes the heart grow fonder. there are some friendships whereby both parties have put in effort to keep in touch and to meet up, and that makes the friendship grows stronger. on the other hand, there are also friendships where one party tries to hold on to, but the other party doesnt quite make the effort, that friendship slowly fades away. you know what i mean. i found myself getting to know yanlian alot more after uni has started. after ruoling, she's the one i see most often as well. see my point? i guess. im glad to have such close friends. who are usually there when i need them *muacks to all of you*

went off to boon lay after that for reunion dinner.

im glad to see my relationships with my cousins improving. as kids, we were always close, but as we grew up, we slowly grew apart, and yea, we had nothing much to talk to in the end. but slowly, starting last year [dont ask me why] we started talking again, and i found it easy to talk to them. especially this evening, we had so much fun talking and gossipping. maybe we had a common target, thats why it was easy. hahaha. but its definitely improving. which is very good (: we're even talking of going k-boxing together (: and i used to think i'll always be closer to my materal cousins cuz there's eileen and people there. this is a good sign (: we're all growing up.

partly, im thankful as well for the closely knitted family togetherness we have as a group. new year doesnt feel like a bore nor chore to me. there are always people to talk to, people to gossip with [that cant be helped when you put me with eileen (: ], things to eat, games to play and tv to watch. yea it sounds like the normal chinese new year to everyone, but to me, it does feel like chinese new year, with the feeling and all. it just simply feels like chinese new year. people of our age dread cny. alot of them say they have nothing much to do anyways. but i always find myself going from one place to another. spending time at both my grandma's place. going to various auntie's houses on different days [if cny occurs over the period of 3-4 days] and yea, its always packed with action. plus the added benefit of collecting angbows as well. doesnt that feeling overwhelm you? it does that to me sometimes. and maybe thats why i look forward to chinese new year. yeaps i suppose.

i could just say im lucky in a sense. i suppose. (:

anyways.
happy chinese new year to all (:

me and huiru :) 

nik, me, ms jasmine ng, yanlian :)  

me and kor (:  

wei ting wei ling at the top. wei ping wei shan wei na at the bottom (: my cousins and me :) 

us trying to make funny faces (:  

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
me martin and jason are talking about victoria secrets on msn, cuz jason is selling.
hahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahah.
i cant stop laughing at the contents of our conversation.

know what my greatest fear is?
to be left alone, not at my choice.
this fear can never be easily allayed. because there always lies the possibility of being ditched, or pangseh-ed as we usually call it nowadays.

today i was pangseh-ed by the rest of my fellow friends for finance test. one msged me early in the morning, saying that she was going to take the earlier finance test first, cuz there was sth wrong with her eyes again. then i received a msg from another, just 10 minutes before the earlier test saying that she had to go see doc, hence wanted to do the earlier test. the other two, dint even bother informing [i highly suspect its due to the fact that they are attached to each other and they dint quite bother informing. ] anyways. that left me and me alone to go for the test at 330 while the other 4 happily went for the one at 12. all cuz of various reasons and i was at home. thanks ah. the feeling of being pangseh-ed aint good. i just dont like the feeling. all too exposed and lonely. i never liked the feeling in the first place, unless i chose to isolate myself. but i dint. it wasnt my choice! oh wells. went for finance alone, was at biz lobby for booth collection money, and bumped into jeremy and hailing. asked me why i was in sch, so yea going for finance test. and jeremy thought why i dint go with the rest, and i was like "oh.." then he got the idea. kena pangseh-ed le. sians. the feeling was downright horrible. went to the sr, everybody around me was all year 2s. that dint help at all. i knew no one else in the class. if i were to go for ma test alone, i wont mind, cuz i know other people in the class. but not in finance cuz they're all year 2s! and they are so much more knowlegable. i felt at that point in time, my lack of studying will show very clearly during the test, with year 2s calmly doing their paper, and me busily flipping the textbook and suggested answers for clues to help me in the test. cuz im totally not prepared at all. totally. went into the sr, went direct to my usual seat. looked around and saw that i isolated myself. scrambled for another seat next to another year 2. the idea of sitting alone, further emphasising my isolation and loneliness did not entice me at all. yeacks. the test itself was ultimately alright. it felt more like a maths paper rather than a finance paper. i went through the entire paper not knowing a single shit about chapters 5 and 6. seriously. all i did was to apply the formula. and the theory questions are screwed that part i know, but there wasnt that many in the first place. so yea. predict prolly a B for this test. i hope. maybe slightly higher? shrugs. they thought the paper was easy, but they have the brains to begin with. like hello, my brains are empty. hence. im not as smart as them. hence. you get the idea. oh wells.

that was such a horrible experience.
next time im going by my own timing, no way am i gonna allow myself to be played out like this. no way man. the feeling sucked totally. sigh.



on a lighter note. i saw another cute guy on the bus today when i was going home! grin. one of the regular faces i usually see on the bus when im going to school on monday and wed for my morning classes. hee. and the interesting thing was that he took a double look at me before sitting down! hahahaha. i knew cuz i was looking at him. grin. but then again, my eyes could be playing tricks on me. muahaha. i was self entertaining myself on the way home considering finance test was over and i could afford to play till friday, when i have bgs class. whee. (:

im waiting to go online. my sister is using the net now. whine. i want my net to go online. and my lappie hasnt been able to detect wireless for quite a few days le. oh wells. and i saw yuan's lappie today! sooo super chio! hahahaha. it doesnt look like a imac, but for a toshiba, its damn chio! like seriously! hahahaha. she made my day today, when i saw her before finance and i was complaining to her about being pangseh-ed. then saw jess in the same sr preparing for her biz law presentation, and shuyi who walked in wondering if she was going to the right sr cuz i was standing in the doorway. the only person i missed was joyce! you ah! hahahaha.

sometimes i wonder, how much more of myself do i not know.
i seem to be finding out more about myself as i grow up. is that a good thing or a bad one?
i wonder.

tmr is cny eve! its also "go-back-hc-and-see-roo" day (:
wonder how many of my classmates are going back. i hope they do. then we can all lunch together. tho jy has a run in the morning at ecp. how weird. grin. then can see juniors also. and one grand junior who's gonna be on duty. reminder: bring her vday pressie tmr! its cheap but cute. bought it on the day we went to watch alfie at PS. (: elaine helped to choose the colour cuz i couldnt decide one myself. darn i really like it myself too. maybe i could go back to PS and get one for myself one day. grin.then new year comes along, and i'll see my little cousins, and some same age cousins, and pig out at the same time. then comes vday. honestly speaking, i fear the arrival of that day. not because i'll be lonely and by myself [cuz im single -duh-] but because of the fact that our first major event for SA events comn is happening on vday, and i dont quite have a good feeling about it. dont ask me why. i havent even finished collecting money for the vday booths! argh. people will always find means and ways to drag payment. like hello, not like the booth costs that much la. idiots. and i wonder if me and elaine are still in orientation main comn. i have a feeling not. havent checked out exactly with fir yet, though i did see him in sch today. sth about the main groups pulling their reps out and that includes both of us. anyways. i'd rather be a facil than in main comm, cuz i think being facils more fun (: get to know more people. grin. though the experience of organising a tertiary wide orientation camp would be good and enlightening. (: i'll just wait and see.


in the meantime, i shall enjoy my newfound freedom for a while. before i get back to catching up on my bgs readings which have been left untouched ever since week 1. now you know how far behind i am. new year is actually a good time to mug, gives you more time to catch up. at the same time, do my individual CT project, cuz presentation is next week. yawns. thinking of work makes me tireddd. yea yea im a slacker. exams are in 7 weeks time and im not worried. oh wells. grin. i'll take life at it comes. (:

here am i trying to avoid playing minesweeper with tim toh on msn, cos he's a genius at it and keeps thrashing me at it, the ONLY game we can play on msn is minesweeper cos there's something wrong with his net.
somebody save me argh!!!

finally. some time for a breather. as usual, blogging in notepad while my sister uses the comp. damnit man i wanna use the net! argh. *sticks tongue out at simna*

i survived 12 hours today without my handphone! argh. left it at home by accident. and the worst part was i was supposed to meet elaine and yixin one hour earlier to discuss questions. thankfully met baoling, then used her phone to call home, to get elaine and xin's no [hey gimme some credit, i remembered elaine's first four numbers! grin.] and then used her phone again to msg the two of them. thank goodness (:

im dead. i.e. brain dead. MA test was today. survived half the paper, and was killed for the other half. blearh. we had different papers, which resulted in different sales commissions. muahaha. only yuan and elaine would know what im talking about. grin. it nearly freaked me out for a sec cos that was 3 questions in a row woah. got negative marking as usual. and i dint bother with the bonus questions. what more that when i couldnt even quite save myself in front. heh.
went to novena with the rest for lunch and we got a lift from jeremy (: save travelling time. wahaha. the sandwiches we had was good and sumptous [eh i kinda forgot the cafe we went to. can only remember it starts with california ;) ]. and they were worthwhile the money. we were discussing about our MA project, and i was thinking how apt the surroundings were, considering what we are gonna do. heh. they went to do market research after that while i went off for tuition.

took the long mrt ride back to jurong east and saw a cute guy on the train! hahaha, we're been looking out for "the cute guy" in school these few days, all thanks to xin, who thinks he's cute. and i think so too, just a little too skinny. muahaha.

as usual, had tuition and here im home. supposed to be revising finance for monday's mid term. in any case, im doubly screwed for finance cos till now i have no inkling on what he's saying even though the test is open book and mcq, with true false questions. that was what he said. sounds simple yea. thats why im still so slack. but i might be going out later with my parents and aunties/uncles to go buy plants/flowers at mandai area [i sound like how crude la. yin liu become plants and flowers. heh.]

tiredddd. cant wait for monday afternoon to come, after finance mid term. i promise i will study. i promise! [elaine was trying to make me cancel one of my tuition assignments tmr. heh.] i will try to make sense out of the 7 chapters we have. at most i'll grab xin's formula sheet. hehehe.
was in bgs class yesterday and checking my blog at the same time. hamidah was right beside me and was commenting that i still had the time to blog. was rather amused at the comment. cuz im definitely not as busy as hamidah [she's a power lady sia. alot of commitments and very serious with her work]. but neither am i as slack as before, like last term when i was involved in nothing at all. now i have VNC 04/05 to take care of [which is coming up in the first weekend of march], i have events comn, sch and 4 tuition assignments. busy as i may be, i will still take out 15-30 minutes of the day to try and blog, be it something meaningful or some crap. just to let me note down the days' happenings, and for you readers to know whats happening to me [thats presumed if you are reading cuz you want to know how i am coping/screwing my life. grin.] and how i feel about certain things, issues in my life. blogging is almost a habit of mine, checking it everyday, minute interactions with the people i miss alot thru my taggy [SO TAG ME THANKEW (: ] yea and i guess to a certain extent, my blog keeps me going. reminds me of the ups and downs i had ever since j2. when this blog was started. soon this blog will be two years old. *pats my blog* thats a looong time, and its quite part of my life now. i know some people think i blog alot, i used to, last year. nowadays i try to, but prolly 5 a week? which is still considerably alot. but oh wells. grin. i guess i love blogging, the hobby that allows me to write nonsence, lyrical poems, and serious meaningful ideals and themes that have accompanied me through my late teen years, and moving into adulthood. im pretty sure, if you check this place again in 2 years time, i'll still be around. i mean, my blog. not just me (:

quite a long entry today. cuz. i just wanted to have a long entry today. (: kk i should stop. and go play the sims game jialing sent me. its damn addictive! partially the reason why i dint put in a full 100% to study for MA. ahhh. but but but. grin.

roo! i finally figured out who dillusionx is le. its jon. bah. hahaha. apparently he's not in NS yet. i think. cos he's working. muahaha.
anyways. there's MA quiz and finance mid term on sat and monday! argh.
blearh. and i havent started for finance. started slightly for MA. and imagine this, i have to finish my individual CT project and most prolly, my BGS case study over cny. oh wells. not that i'll have much to do anyways.
drove past hillgrove just now. took a bus past hillgrove just now.
made me think of the times i was clerking and teaching there. i sure miss those times man. when i was on the bus, i peered out of the bus and look at the crowds of students having PE. i saw my E2 students! hahaha. miss that crowd of students loads. saw dittaya and christopher. sitting with the usual gang. as usual. wahh. i wont mind going back to the times at hillgrove, though i do like it now as well. oh wells. heh.

something i wrote 2 years back, pre A levels period.
wrote alot of chinese poems, which i treasure alot now.
dont think i could churn them out now, but i could try.
writing these poems gave me the motivation and strength to go on to study.
now this one, it applies to junhui (:

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What's it all about, Alfie?
Is it just for the moment we live?
What's it all about when you sort it out, Alfie?
Are we meant to take more than we give
or are we meant to be kind?
And if only fools are kind, Alfie,
then I guess it's wise to be cruel.
And if life belongs only to the strong, Alfie,
what will you lend on an old golden rule?
As sure as I believe there's a heaven above, Alfie,
I know there's something much more,
something even non-believers can believe in.
I believe in love, Alfie.
Without true love we just exist, Alfie.
Until you find the love you've missed you're nothing, Alfie.
When you walk let your heart lead the way
and you'll find love any day, Alfie, Alfie.
~Alfie

go watch alfie, its really a good movie. i would say its worth a $7.50 watch.
M18, hot scenes, but provoking deep thoughts.
would you want to end up like alfie?
im glad i caught alfie today, with some of the closer smu mates i have (:
love them all.
we should make wed afternoon movie session.
there's still finding neverland and constantine! (:
had a nice time today (:

some people are just so irritating on buses.
dont think im listening to music on my headphones that means i cant hear what you're saying.
when you put a bunch of guys together, you get a group of monkeys.
and no, it aint funny when you tease your friend by saying loudly "he likes to sit next to pretty girls" thinking that i cant hear you. and embarrasses your friend in the mean time.
and no, it aint funny when you attempt to trip me when im trying to get off the bus.
assholes.