happy new year to all dearies (:

had a fun day yesterday even when everybody bailed out on cycling when it was raining/pouring/drizzling yesterday morning.
me and ruoling still went ahead with cycling and i guess the skies sided with us by making the rain stop when we reached east coast park and starting the rain again when we finally finished cycling (:
had my first cycling accident yesterday and ruoling claimed it was horrific. especially when she saw the wheel coming down on my head. speaking of which, my head aches now. must be because of that hit i think. plus i was in such a awkward position kiap-ed between the wheels of the bicycle i couldnt drag myself up. hahahaha. but thankfully i escaped with not too much injuries, the worst being a small scrape on my right elbow so i guess im fine. grin. dont worry, my brain is still functioning properly so haha (:

met up with jinyang and yanlian after that. nice people who decided to meet us for dinner at suntec (: yanlian is still her usual, sweet and innocent. (: jinyang is still as nice as ever [dont worry, though disappointed i may be, i dont blame you guys for withdrawing from AR. we can try again next year, BUT please make sure you go and TAKE LEAVE. confirm that you are REALLY FREE the next time round. hahaha.] we had dinner, ice cream and had fun just talking. tried playing bridge at sky garden but we barely managed 2 rounds before it started drizzling again. blearh.

oh wells. nice new years eve.
even though me and ruoling were played out by the class girls.
should have expected them to do such a thing to us le.
being butter princesses who cant stand the rain.
shrugs.
verbal attack, but i dont quite care.
after all, me and ruoling could have went cycling and movie watching on 30th. but we changed our plans to suit you guys. and then y'all play us out.
hello, responsibility on your part?
oh wells.
not many listen anyway.
a little hesistant about class lunch this coming sunday on 9th jan.
what if y'all play us out again?
i really dont know.

amazing race cancelled for my team.
we withdrew from the race. not the girls doings.
sth cropped up in ocs for the guys. they were very hesistant in skipping the cropped up events.
hence we chose to withdrew and yea, here am i sitting at home.
not that sians considering me and ruoling went walk walk around city area after watching meet the fockers in the afternoon.
oh wells. shrugs.
all that excitement and hype to nought.
i dont blame anyone la, since jinyang and his friend cant really help it.
plus the fact that jinyang's feeling damn guilty le.
oh wells.
im amazed at myself for not getting pissed off by being dua-ed at such a major event.
my temper must be improving. heh.

oh and i failed my driving. as expected.
shrugs.

oh wow.
oh great.
i freaked out this afternoon about my driving test with kailyn tmr.
she was dishing out tips that i could use to avoid gaining more points for tmr. and i think i've forgotten them all already. ahhhhhhhhhhh.
its quite screwed actually.
my final tally count for driving, i took practical for only 1980 minutes. its not even 2000 minutes!
and im not a skilled driver.
i just hope i dont fail too badly. hope i dont get more than 30 points tmr.
which is quite yeacks but yea.
ahh my sentences are so incoherent. forget it. i'll go and fail tmr.
and end up being disappointed.
well who asked me to only start learning how to drive on 1st dec and expect to pass on 30dec?
crazy man. plus i changed instructors halfway, cos the first one is fucking screwed left right centre. hahaha.
my current instructor is good and nice. but i only had a few lessons under him.
sooo. i think i'll die tmr. i'll try not to kill my tester i promise. hopefully in return he doesnt scold me too badly after the test. i wonder if i'd be let out of the circuit. i keep forgetting to check my blindspots. and mirrors.
if i pass tmr, the sky will fall. and i owe kailyn a treat. (:
wish me luck guys.
and thanks to joyce who wished me today already. (:
boy oh boy. im so damned screwed.

had a nice simple day with kailyn today.
pei her to go cut her hair, plus had lunch at the market near my place.
came back to my house, and she was looking at the music lib.
she talked to me about driving, we talked about anything..
twas a nice pleasant day (: i like. grin.

later got amazing race.
tmr got real amazing race.
hope we'll have fun (:
looking forward to it.
and hopfully my failure wont screw up my feelings.
shall go home and sleep tmr after driving.
pity the guys though. they got paintball game in the morning.
hopefully they dont feel too tired when AR starts at night.

after all these writing, im still thinking about my driving test tmr.
damnit.
im so screwed.
may i not kill the instructor.
blearh.

2004


1. What did you do in 2004 that you have never done before?
Relief teaching and working. That was fun, having students and guiding them along.
Getting into and out of a relationship in the short span of less than 5 months.
Starting university.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I never make new year resolutions. Even if i did, i'd prolly never keep to them.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
nopes.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
nopes.

5. What countries did you visit?
Singapore Singapore Singapore. [boring huh]

6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?
Real close reliable friends in smu. [sth tells me thats gonna be hard.]
More self confidence. [that was totally zapped away when i entered smu.]
chances to meet up with old friends.

7. What date(s) from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
05 march 2004. alevel results [or was it the 6th march 2004?]
10 april 2004. the start.
18 august 2004. the end.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
biggest achievement? you must be kidding me. i screwed my alevels results, what furthermore can there be?

9. What was your biggest failure?
failure? prolly my results. and my inability to pull myself together after the breakup.

10. Did you suffer any illness or injury?
does injury to the heart count?

11. What was the best thing you bought?
my baby creative zen touch

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
i cant think of anyone in particular. how about his younger bro?

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
him. his mum. his dad.

14. Where did most of your money go?
erm. food? hee.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
i have no idea. i dint even get excited about school.
ooh i know! confirmation of me being able to teach (:

16. What song/s will always remind you of 2004?
songs by boys to men. i was crazy over their songs earlier this year.
oldies.
taufik's songs (:

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: i. happier or sadder?
definitely sadder.
i dont have an ultimate aim in mind, i feel lost very often and i dont understand myself as much as i used to.
i thought i knew who i was alright. but now i figured, i dont.
i have no anchor around me and that feeling is downright horrible. it sucks, plainly.

18. What ? do you wish you'd done more of?

done more? mm. nothing actually. study more maybei dint touch my books until 3 days before my exams. i was in lala land before that. AND i was still playing jue dai shuang jiao 3. speaking of which, i should go and buy the new game by the same company that i saw at jurong point when i was with ruoling. and when she stopped me from buying it.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
THINKING. i know i always think too much. BUT i cant help myself.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
christmas is already over. but i spent it with two close friends whom i treasure alot (:

22. Did you fall in love in 2004?
i think i did.

23. How many one-night stands?
duh. need i say more?

24. What was your favourite TV program?
the amazing race 5. with chip and kim (: they rock totally!

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
hate is a very strong emotive word. i thought i did.
but i realised that there wasnt any point in hating her when all's done been done.
everything is over, kaput. so whats more in hating her? she can rot in hell for all i care.

26. What was the best book you read?
i've read plenty of wonderful books this year. so erm. i'd say, refer to jurong east library. (:

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
TAUFIK BATISAH (: muahaha. hee. AND frank sinatra (:

28. What did you want and get?
nothing. told you i have no aim, dint you believe me?

29. What did you want and not get?
nothing. i dint expect to get anything. hence i dint not get anything.

30. What was your favourite film of this year?
national treasure. the day after tommorow.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
went sungei buloh with ruoling xinxin and jingwen (: went to gym with ruoling after that and met sijia and had a threesome dinner at snoopy's place at PS. mm me age? 19 (:

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
satisfying? not be in smu. but in a place where i have my close friends near me. say NUS or NTU engin. either one. though i know i'll die with phyics in engin.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?
comfy. jeans shirts. big baggy shirts and shorts. sporty. definitely not chic though.
im not that kinda person.

34. What kept you sane?
friends. my mum [for listening to me when i was at the pit bottom], my sis[tho irritating she can be, she's one who never fails to put a smile/frown on me].

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
wilber pan (: definitely. never changed since 2003.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
american presidential elections. PLUS. our current PM lee.

37. Who did you miss?
02S33. my exco. joycet. junhui. roo. him. tim. [basically all my close friends. :( ]
(i chose not to put kailyn and fishball in cos i saw them plenty during the hols and i love them for that (: my wonderful dearies (: )

38. Who was the best new person you met?
him. elaine. yixin (:

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004:
move on with life. nobody is willing to stop and wait for you.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
mm. *shrugs* *gives up*

somebody please tell me smuconnect is making a big big mistake by putting christina lee as G9's CT instructor. it was originally kirpal singh! and i checked the timetable schedule and it still says kirpal singh!
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
i've heard horror stories and i dont want christina lee as my creative thinking instructor!
help! acks.

supposed to be working on my proposals and send them to aundre by tonight.
but somehow i find myself blogging. blearh.
emotions today a li' stirred.
maybe cos i finally got back the photo album.
the entire saga has finally come to a close.
dint feel much.
except for the sadness of losing a friend.
no matter how close we once were.
[oh yes i know plenty of people think he sucks. but this is what i think.]
when wanjun passed it to me today i simply shoved it into my bag.
dint wanna look at it then. dint wanna spoil the mood of exco outing.
fishball did ask me what it was about. but i simply shrugged it aside.
looked at it later and realised it dint ache that much.
a sense of loss maybe, but that was it.
was even in the mood to show it to yy, my childhood photos till now.
will find the time to show other people when i see them now and then.

its time to move on.
i am moving on.
or am i not.
i dont know.
but all i know is.
i feel the same way as how my mei do.
oh wells.


exco outing today was fun (:
went to settlers cafe and had a very fun time there.
catching up with wanjun jiahui and dephne (:
playing all kinds of board games
like the first one "that dog game" we took nearly 2 hours.
cos gab took ONE hour to go through the instructions.
ahhh. hahahaha.. but the games after that were pretty brainless and exciting.
hahahaha.
thankew gab for that CRAZY necklace you bought :P
that necklace aint crazy la. BUT. why am i labelled the crazy one?!?!
*pouts*
or rather, i can be crazy.
but only to the people whom im really close to.
be honoured if you've seen the crazy side of me. muahaha.

finally got around changing my blogskin.
very rare nice ones on blogskins.com to change to.
my reliable makers all not making le ):
PLUS i finally got the time to sit down and change everything
BUT im still too lazy to make my own.

eh i'll wait.
for next sem break.
which is in mid april.
muahahaha.
meanwhile, i'll make do with this. (:

so super amusing today.
cant believe gab actually believed that we got him a tin of omega plus for his christmas pressie.
a healthy option as compared to what he was drinking the day before.
muahaha.

but glad to see that he was happy with the present we got him.
hey i nearly went cockeyed while trying to find a nice metalic watch for him!
and now i finally found out how high priced mens watches are.
[but dont worry gab, we dint have THAT kinda cash to get you THAT kinda watches]
but the more i look at what we got him
the happier i am with myself for spotting that watch.
grins.

thankew yy and joycet for your pressies (:
a bagful for precious thots sweets and body/shower lotion from body shop (:
thankew (: *hugs*

once again, MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL (:

burp.
im bloated. and sleepy. and tired.
had sakura buffet. nicey (:
yay lunch tmr is confirmed (:
im a li' incoherent now.
ooh to joycet and yy: joycez wants to meet next week. free any time?
[hey joycez, why dont you just tag on me board. hee.]
she'll try to get ah-ma (:
erm.
what else.
tmr is CHRISTMAS!
for someone who never really celebrated christmas until this year.
happy christmas to all.
and since im such an effective procrastinator
your christmas cards are either done and still with me, hoping in vain that i can save on postage, OR not done and still with me.
so yea.
my laziest year ever.
how sad can that be. blearh.
in any case. not everybody receives them anyway.
just the same few people.
and all thanks to jinyang who rushed me out yesterday by bringing forward the meeting 1 hour earlier.
i forgot to bring his and ruoling's cards out.
BLEARH.

sleepy.
yawn.

ahhhhhh i bought budak pantai's third cd! the christmas album (:
saw it when i was doing last minute shopping on tues evening.
popped into music junction, saw it on the shelves and bought it without thinking.
even when im so so so damn broke. grin.
the album rawks big time (: [i sound like my 15 year old sis here (:]
elaine! the logcake song and the gor liap song are in this album! let y'all hear when school starts (: after MA lesson when we have plenty of time (:
its nice to be on the mailing list of budak pantai (: saw some pictures they sent to us on themselves when they performed at sentosa (: grins.


the best place to be during the christmas festive season is HOME.
by right, people may think that i mean, we share the festive spirit with our loved ones.
by left i mean, AVOID THE BLOODY CHRISTMAS CROWDS!
we made the mistake of having our AR meeting today at orch cos one of the guys had to go to shangrila after that so it was within the vicinity. BUT. we forgot all about the xmas crowd. ): we stayed at coffee club express at wisma which wasnt that crowded. but when i was making my way from lido to wisma, it was crowded like hell. it felt as though the whole of singapore was in town. and when me and ruoling were going home, the gates between orch mrt and wisma was jammed. to a snails crawl. ahhhhh. why is it soooo bloody freaking crowded this year? me and fishball are gonna do VERY LAST MINUTE SHOPPING tmr for SOMEBODY. hahaha. wish us luck man.

AR meeting was a little disappointing. maybe cos i expected more?
shrugs. dunno la.
just hope we'll still enjoy ourselves during that 24 hours.
and hope awkward silences wont appear during that short/long [relative] period.
was glad to see jinyang and ruoling today though.
talked to jinyang for a very long time, while waiting for ruoling.
nice to see him back in singapore again (:
hey dude, enjoy life before going back into camp on monday (:
monstar and yaya have officially ended their chalets.
monstar went penang and returned as a fat slob.
yaya came my house and i pampered him utterly.
[only class and roo will understand all these (: ]

in the short span of less than 12 hours i saw three familar faces at three different places at three different times.
saw wenhui this morning at gombak while both of us were going to learn driving. him at BBDC, me private.
saw gab today at orch mrt while i was waiting for jinyang's msg as to where he was. gab was waiting for jiahui. dint get to see her though ):
saw zhimin halfway through my meeting while i was going to the toilet at wisma. he looked abit gong and he was going home. prolly cant stand the crowds. heh.

aiyah. everybody is out in town la.
im quite tired of going out actually now.
been out every day since long time ago? cant remember.

241204 - last min xmas shopping/family buffet
251204 - sat - teppanyaki lunch @ j8 with fishball and gab? [not confirmed]
261204 - tuition
271204 - lunching with huiling/exco at settlers cafe
281204 - free?
291204 - free?
301204 - driving test [im so going to fail this]/ mazing race
311204 - mazing race
010105 - stay at home and sleep [aftereffects of AR]
020105 - tuition [MUST be HOME for oceans eleven at night]
030105 - school starts ):

and this doesnt include driving everyday until 301204. yawn.
im already feeling tired. plonk.

us in suzhou, china. dec 2000 

yy me max [top] yuxian aaron wenyang dQ [below] 

this year's xmas is quite a different one for me.
at least i think.
giving christmas pressies for the first time.
[and tan yy still refuses to gimme mine. me santa wont you give it to moi? grin]
very caught up with meeting different people this year at this time suddenly.
maybe cos i just met up with the china trip people today

somehow i think the china trip we had in the year end of 2000 impacted us alot.
in one way or another i suppose.
i wonder if those reading my blog think so too. wenyang, yy. wonder if dQ reads tho. im pretty sure the rest doesnt. i bet. muahaha.
it was nice to see today, when we all got together again after not meeting for nearly 3 years [or is it more i cant quite remember. did we meet in dec 2004? when was the time we went east coast to cycle?], everybody could still talk freely and easily. of course, there were awkward silences here and there occasionally, but i still enjoyed myself. everybody dint seem to have changed much. wenyang, cos i still saw him around in sch last year. dQ, still striked me the same as before. yuxian, still talking all sorts of nonsense all the time. aaron, still the same though i was kinda surprised he joined canoe. come to think about it, wont angela be his senior? you guys still remember the aaron song? muahaha. oops. grin. and of course dearest maxine, still as demure as ever. took a group picture, i want the photo! it shows us all, after 4 years.
went back to look at the photos when we were all in china. and yea i love the macs photo too.
those taken outside macs when we couldnt find any space inside to sit.
and to think we were considering repeating the feat of sitting on the steps outside macs if we could find sth like that in singapore. but we never got to do that ultimately.
shit la. all these has gotten me thinking about the past.
i still remember them clearly. how we had so much fun, young and carefree in the strange lands.
away from stress and school and books [tho we still had maths olympiad lessons in CHINESE! blearh i wonder now how we managed to understand the chinese language of mathematics.] and soaking in the culture in china.
doing silly stuff like yy's chinese dance and singing to huanzhu songs cos that was the fad then.
angela going on and on about how cute aaron was [and still is i must say. muahaha.].
busy buying cds like crazy at the cd shop near suzhou fan dian cos it was damn cheap. renminbi 10 yuan i can still remember clearly.
the stupid dare the rg girls made on one of the ri guys. was glad that me yy and junhui werent involved in such childishness. the rg girls even argued because of that. and the worst thing is that the guy aint even good looking. just charming. oh wells.
i had so much fun, i dint miss home at all. and it was my first time away from family for such a long time overseas. my mum had to call when i was in the showers. heh. oops.
i wrote a diary during the course of the trip. and i still have it and i just read it.
the dairy and photos really bring back tons of memories.

now we're all older.
cant imagine them in ns hairstyle. hahaha.
time passed us and now the guys are enlisting next month.
me yy and max are going into the second sem of our uni year one life.
junhui is already in the far lands of uk.
really really glad that we met up and caught up with one another.
cant put my finger exactly on the reason why im really glad, but it just felt appropriate and nice.
maybe we wont meet so often.
maybe we'll meet only at significant times.
like then, we girls finished Olevels. and it was one year after china trip.
like today, when the guys are enlisting soon.
i predict, the next time we meet would be when the guys are out of ns and about to enter uni.
or before people start flying overseas for overseas studies.
do you guys think im right? heh. i think so myself.
but its always times like this when you realise, some friendships can withstand the length of time easily no matter how long you havent seen or talked to each other.




never do last minute christmas shopping.
i hate the christmas crowds. and im going really really really broke. blearh.
there's gonna be negative figures in my bank account very soon.



somehow i cant seem to meet him in the eye last night.
him being so caring. so nice.
i think my crush on him is reemerging again.
oh wells. fleeting crush anyways.
heh.

waaaaaaaaaaah.
kailyn, i think im black again.
only realised the colour difference today when i was bathing just now.

for the ignorant ones, we just went cycling at east coast park today (:
and the weather was good. in fact it was blazing hot today.
and you guys know how easily i tan.
was trying to teach kailyn how to cycle, and there was progress!
i swear you made progress during that 2 hours!
one family came to teach her how to cycle. nice and friendly of them but i think we were kinda stressed by them. heh. hahaha.
then went for lunch. and debated if she should continue cycling.
or, it was more like, she insisting on me to decide. heh.
but in the end we took a double bike. i was in front!
i was the main balancer! it was kinda tough initially and we were swaying here there everywhere!
we nearly rammed into a lamppost, ran onto the sand and nearly fell a couple of times!
heh. but ultimately we conquered the double bike.
went all the way to bedok jetty and back to fort road, and finally back to the bicycle rental store.
still remember the last time i was at bedok jetty was when i was with the china trip people.
and that was eons ago. and junhui was carrying me on the double bike (:
now its my turn to carry someone else. (:
how time flies.
school is starting soon.
and now, i'd wish there's more to the hols.
at least start school on the same week as the NUS people ):

right now im looking forward to the return of jinyang and his friend from brunei, and ruoling from penang.
which is tmr. finally. ahhhhh.
we need to strategise. URGENTLY. grin.

Stumbled upon this poetry book when i was researching in the library today.
very sweet and nice.
borrowed the book. in the course of reading a little everyday.
there's an introduction to every part of the book. which i like alot.
such poetry, is meant to be savoured bit by bit.
and i'll show you the poems im falling in love with.
specially like todays one.

Essential poems [to fall in love with] ~ presented by Daisy Goodwin

Getting Started: In the mood for love

Romance --- like the car keys , your birth certificate, and an empty taxi--- is never there when you need it. The conventional wisdom is get out there and meet people, which is great for the organisers of car maintenance courses and salsa classes; but dont sign on the dotted line unless you are really fascinated by carburetors or enjoy close proximity to new varieties of aftershave. Far better to join a nunnery or sign up for a six month stint on Mount Athos, where no woman has set foot in thousands of years, because the only guarantee is that when you do find love, it will be when you least expect to.

Bloody Men ~ by Wendy Cope

Bloody men are like bloody buses---
You wait for about a year---
And as soon as one approaches your stop
Two or three others appear.

You look at them flashing their indicators,
Offering you a ride.
You're trying to read the destinations,
You haven't got much time to decide.

If you make a mistake, there is no turning back.
Jump off and you'll stand there and gaze
While the cars and taxis and lorries go by
And the minutes, the hours, the days.

my oh my.
been kinda busy since yesterday. no time to blog yesterday. almost no time today.
in fact i have something on everyday all the way till christmas eve.
and fishball and gab! teppanyaki @ j8 :)
and 02s33! class session at sijia's place when? we can make it first week of school for me. cos nus starts school on 10th jan. *grumblesmumbles*
and amazing race team! i.e. sparx! when are we gonna have our first meeting? we definitely gotta meet at least ONCE before the actual day. and do some strategising. AND planning. [yy, dont gimme the "be honest" look. muahaha.]
and dearest exco! when are we going settlers?
and dearest mei! when exactly are you free? or do i have to resort to visiting you in hc? grin.
and joycez! post christmas shopping? last week of hols before school starts for us? and we havent compared timetables! all thanks to that time when you were too lazy to check it online :P

goodness. there's so much undone. and there's still the amazing race to come along. and china trip gathering. plus cycling at east coast. plus meeting up with people.
to think i was bored with the hols. now i think i kinda have not enough time for the hols. muahaha.

met mok kor twice in the short span of two days. enjoyed his company thoroughly (: thankew kor.
he got me an especially sweet magnet from aussie when he was there for training, so sweeet (: met him last night for his church concert, quite entertaining, and it was near ruoling's old house! passed by the hawker centre when we used to dapao oyster omelette back to her house, when me and xinxin chased for 154 to go home. (:
then met him today after amazing race briefing at westmall for National Treasure.
goodness gracious that movie is perfecto! and it follows a true story. or at least a real myth. my goodness i was astounded by the whole movie. and was super more intrigued when mok told me about the true story/myths regarding the knights templar and the free masons, which all started from the crusades. and that got me VERY interested and started thinking.
did you know clinton and bush are free masons? hee.
muahaha. its research time man! (:
but really, National Treasure is worth a $8.50 watch over and over again. With true knowledge, facts, fast action and clue-a-hunting, and storyline similar to the Amazing race, who can resist it?
im glad i got to catch it finally. its really really really really really good.
in fact, i'd rank it up there with my fave "the italian job". both are DAMN DAMN good (:

had amazing race briefing and gear check today/ the briefing was a hoax. to me at least. cos everything explained there is explained very clearly in scroll 3. the only difference is that, instead of sitting in front of my home computer and reading the scroll myself, i listened to someone go through the scroll with me today on a powerpoint presentation. BORING.
but what was exciting was the gear check (:
was supposed to meet ruoling at lot 1 at 11am this morning.
but she was kinda late so i ended up at the lib. and she called me to say that her mum was driving her and i should get everything ready and bought so that her mum can send us both to CCKCC. ahhhhh!
i was still picking my library books ): heh. but i still borrowed them in the end. (:
rushed down to ntuc to get the black garbage bags [luckily they came 10 in a pack. i dint wanna buy a packet of 30 just for 2 garbage bags] and tons of water. realised i couldnt carry 5 1.5l mineral bottles, 1 1.5l coke bottle, and 4 500ml mineral bottles all by hand, i rushed for the trolley. and started panicking in my heart thinking how i should carry them to the road outside lot 1.
my saviour came to save me! ruoling the saviour [hee] came to help me carry (: thankfully. i was already carrying a bagpack with the compulsory gear items, plus a side bag for my own barang barang le. hee.
made it there to CCKCC macs and started packing. made a mess out of the table and ruoling's mum frowned slightly at us. heh. wanted to make it as the first for gear check, so rushed yy here [so paiseh, thankew sooo muchie!]. yea and we were the second at the registration table and first at our gear check counter! (: and the video camera was trained on us girls cos we were the first team at gear check. me and ruoling smiled and made funny faces at the camera, until the guy told us it wasnt running yet. oopise. *embarrassed*
but the excitement was spreading amongst the crowds! they accepted over 200 teams. so dont be surprised if you see almost a thousand people running about the island doing tasks, asking for directions on 311204 (: if need be, give us poor things a ride! (: especially MY TEAM! (: or at least, help us (: be the gracious singaporeans on the last day of 2004 (:
im getting a little high.
as you can see from the number of smilies im putting all over the place.
im getting all hyped up!!! wheeee!
anyways.



time to drag myself away from the blog. research time. (:

mm i realise i havent been blogging long entries today.
but life has been so boring, there's nothing much to blog about.
i mean, you dont wanna read repeated entries of me staying at home, going online, playing neopets/racingfrogs, reading books, watching tv right? right. i answered my own question. muaha.

anyways.
went east coast park to cycle with family today.
it was fun.
and i got a surprise there (:
when i was cycling back from the very end of ecp, i thought i vaguely heard someone calling nana. i turned around, but i couldnt see anyone. plus my bicycle was swerving from left to right, so i turned back and continued cycling. and i was still thinking, that voice sounded like eileen's. but on second thoughts, eileen dint seem like she knew how to cycle. so i presumed it wasnt her.
so i continued.
and when i was about to return the bicycle to the rental place, i heard the same voice.
and I SAW EILEEN NEW YILIN! hahahahahahahahaha (:
then she scolded me. hahahahaha. cos i dint stop to answer her when she called out to me. and her sis even chased after me and helped her call out for me. but apparently i was cycling too fast. then she called my handphone and msged me. BUT i dint bring my handphone out today. muahahahahaha.
so funny (:
it was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO super nice to see her. she's still her same old self.
wheeee (: *big hugs to eileen new*
missed her loads.
wheeeee. so happy today (:
well at least now i know she knows how to cycle (: [dont whack me eileen!]
and we can go cycling together! (:

cant wait for the class to get together again.
whineee.
but when can that be?

oceans twelve is goood (:
brad pitt is cute. so is matt damon. but brad pitt cuter i think. (:
star studded cast, typical plot that i like.
twists, twists and more twists.
theives stealing. think italian job.
my rating, its worth an $8.50 tix.
and it feels good watching the sneak.
finally im not watching a movie that has came out for a coupla weeks.
i get a kick outta watching movies during their sneak preview time frame, or on the very day they come out.
dont ask me why.
i just like it. muahaha.

back from camp meeting (:
boy it was soo super fun
everybody was on a high, so hyper so enthu

i cant wait for the next meeting
and volunteers network camp 2005 to come (:

driving in the circuit is STRESSFUL.
i hate the S drive and the what nots. :(
gimme the main road anyday. really.
anything over that stupid circuit (:

another one leaving the coop for greener pastures overseas.
jason teo leaving for cornell next sept.
mok leaving for warrick next year also. sept i think, for uk people.
*glum*

why are all my closer seniors flying away from singapore.
why is it when they are all gonna leave, then i'll start missing them and thinking of them.
serves me right for taking them for granted.
*glum glum glum*

dint touch my comp for one whole day yesterday! haha.
busy mah.
had driving in the late morning, followed by tuition, and then dempsey trip with yy and gabriel.
so effectively in one day i was a student, a teacher and being just me (:

ooh demspey hut is a MUST visit.
the ambience was so wonderful, and everything there reminded me of survivor.
i.e. tribal council.
remember when the survivors enter into the tribal council with their lighted torches? that part where they walk over a bridge or sth? yea dempsey hut has something like that without the hut.
it was sooooo mesmerising. sooo wonderful.
the food was not bad, must try the nile perch. i dint eat it but both yy and gab had it. the buttery flavour was very niceee [koped abit off from yy]. yeaps and their happy hours rather early. from 3pm to 8pm. the san miguel was nicee, at least i prefer it to hoeegarden [cant remember if its spelt like this, and too lazy to check]. sat there for a looong time, just eating chatting and playing cards (:
dempsey is located between holland and tanglin, nearer to tanglin actually. we told the taxi to bring us to dempsey road but dempsey hut was located off minden road instead. there's a minden road public carpark for those who are driving. we took a nice long walk from demspey road over to minden park after getting directions from an antiques shop lady. ooh there's wine network there, but think we'll visit after attaining more knowledge on wine. hahaha. the whole atmosphere of dempsey was a very nice serene feeling, undisturbed and quiet. many cars there, more of the posh ones because they belong to the rich people staying there, and you rarely see people on foot except for the people playing soccer at the civil servuce club. took a nice stroll down the winded road, and passed by an old church which was definitely not in use. but me and yy heard choral voices coming from the church, very faint ones. the first time i heard it i dint wanna say anything, cos i thought i was simply imagining things. but when yy said she heard something too, aha i wasnt imagining things. but gab dint hear it! to think he wanted to walk back and try to catch the choral voices. now i just hope the two of us werent hearing things. muahaha.
walked on, saw the old st george's church, a collonial brick building. it looked as good as new, but i think it has been there for quite a while. and there was where we stumbled upon the back entrance of demspeys hut. its so quaint, that i regretted not bringing my cammie to take pictures. the service was very good [but we think we were served by the owner himself. hee. ] and yea, we had the most wonderful time there. pleasurable. (:
it would be nice if we can go there again, and pass by the old church and see if there are still the presence of the choral voices. (:
missed the encore telecast of the final showdown last night, missed wilber pan on channel eight but it was all worth it (:
besides, i can catch wilber pan again tonight on star awards (: grins.

directions to get to demspey: take 174/106/105/123/502 and get off at the gleneagles busstop [if you're coming from holland] , or the one opp gleneagles [if you're coming from tanglin]. if you came from holland, cross the road at the traffic light junction near botanic to the opp side. walk away from tanglin and enter at the nearest sliproad. you'll find demspey's hut further in.
a very well hidden place, but accessible as well. be prepared to see plenty of angmohs and be ready for mosquitoes (:

mm im watching the suria channel now.
some charity show.
but as usual.
i watch it for a motive.

TAUFIK IS GOING ON IT!
yea i've been ranting about this the whole day already.
muahaha.
to think im watching something i dont understand at all.
i should go pick up malay (:

call me a slow starter or late bloomer.
cos i just discovered the beauty of cycling.

cycling down the windy path alone, taking in the sea breeze with the dazzling shimmery sea beside you.
ahhh.
what wonders. (:

yea i saw the class blog le.
and i made the replies already.


next time, next hols.
im gonna get a job.
to shut my own trap about me being bored and stuck at home.
next time, i MUST learn not to care.
not to bother.
and turn myself into a machine.
then you wont see me ranting on and on about making stupid choices, pissing people off, missing exclassmates and friends from jc and flaring up.
then i'll be an anti-social creature.


the older we grow, the more anti social we become.
we just want to bask in the care and love of close friends.
and making new friends becomes a chore.
a tiring chore in fact.
maybe thats why i feel old?
cos im tired of making new friends.
im tired of adapting to new environments.
when i start working, i'll be antisocial.

after talking to kailyn yesterday, we came to the conclusion that we are no longer the outspoken bubbly wacky wild ones back in jc and sec sch.
instead, we are more subdued, tend to look back at the past and yea, becoming more antisocial.
is that just the problem with medicine and smu?
i dont know.
shrugs.

sometimes i hate myself for going somewhere where no one is here.
none of my jc friends are.
and they dont seem to give a damn anymore.
sometimes i just regret my choices.
and im always making the wrong choices.

i hate it when everybody is bloody busy. and when im not.
i dont understand. when i make the effort to. people dont bother. people dont give a damn.
dint your parents teach you manners, to treat people the way they treat you?
so sucks to all of you.


bloody bored and sians at home.
cos everyone is bloody busy.
oh lonely me.
how great.
now im feeling pathetic for myself.
sorry xinxin.
for flaring up just now.
not feeling wonderful today.

disclaimer: if you dont wanna read me going on a rampage on singapore idol, i suggest you not read it. :)


listening to the idols' "thats whats friends are for" now. on the unofficial taufik's blog where you can download taufik's songs :) see i've changed the song to "me and mrs jones", the famed song that melted plenty hearts in singapore that night, and swayed many neutrals. grin. dont say i never tell you where to download his songs ah. hee.
anyway, the idols song, albeit cheesy, its a nice song for all 11 of them to sing. cos it's such a group song i suppose. kinda hooked on it. and realised i quite like leandra's voice, despite the afro hairstyle she had. muahaha. she seems to have a sweet character, and of course, she's taufik gang de! grin. yea la im bias. i like oli, leandra and even chri [80% cos he's cute. my age some more. muahaha.] all because they are taufik's "brudders". hahaha. and its fun trying to tell whose voice is whose. just that i cannot differentiate between beverly and jessea. maybe cos they only sang once each. unlike THAT jerry ong. muahaha.
oh i'll miss the idol days. thurs 8pm when i settle down in front of my tv, ready to catch the idols in action.
friday 830pm when i bite my nails while in suspense of who's gonna be kicked out that night.
i cant wait for american idol 4 to come out in jan 2005. hee. then i have something to concentrate on. whee :)
and i have my weekly amazing race too, plus our own singapore amazing race at the end of the year.
can see me joycie and fishball getting all hyped up about it at my taggy yea? grin. ooh RUOLING! i checked out our team number le. 192! i.e. we're team no 92 :) we made it just in time. muahaha.



i do realise im a passive person. for anything. everything.
school life. outings. projects. love life. anything.
i dont make the first move. i wait for people to get started. to organise.
same for love life. i dont go around looking for love.
instead. i wait for love to come find me.
though it only found me once so far and left with a bitter taste.
oh wells. it can come look for me again.
i dont wanna look for it. so tiring so troublesome.
why did i suddenly realise im passive.
maybe because of recent incidents i suppose.
especially yesterday when soon tien called me up regarding vnet 2005.
OOH im in the committee! super excited :)
muahaha. some familar names like sharon and aundre [both from blue team], desmond whom i worked with for post camp project, and the rest.. cant really remember them. its been a long 6 months and they werent in my group but i can look forward to getting to know them better while we work towards the camp! grin. its slated to be in early march 05. ooh whee. i cant wait :) all the fond memories i had during the weekend long camp. one of the most impressionable ones. maybe cos i felt so inspired after that. read my march 2004 archive for the fine details :) i tried to capture every single detail possible, i tried! and i just reread it recently, brought smiles to my face. that was when i told someone online [cant remember who, but it was either kor tim or gab. i think.] i love reading my archives. reminds me of the past which i hold on to dearly.


something striked me yesterday.
i dont wanna make more new friends. i dont wanna widen my social circle.
i wanna stay close in contact with the close ones i have, and have "clickable" friends near me all this while.
i dont look to be one popular person who goes hihihi everywhere. but when it comes down to the crunch time, there's no one there.
i wanna have a close knitted group of friends whom i can count on. who will always [almost anyway :) ] be there for me. and i know who these people are. already.
some people may insist on wanting to know me more. wanting to be close friends with me.
but if we dont click, sorry.
i hope you know who you are.
thanks.

its on days like today, when i treasure friends whom i can click very well with.
thankew fishball and gab :)

*BIG HUGS*

know something:
for me
friendships:
its either
we click, or we dont.
you do the math.
dont tell me your answers
cos i do the sums too.

its either hi or bye.
and if we dont click,
BYE.
but if we do,
you're here to stay forever. :)


today was just so wrong so wrong.

whee.
registration for AR is finally done. thankie ruoling! :D
now im quite broke. the guys owe us 25 bucks each. heh.
and why must the guys leave to go brunei now and come back only after the pre briefing?!? argh.
leaving us to go for the briefing and prepare the gear required for AR. blearh. *grumbles*
leaving us to get the CONDOMS. hey. the webbie dint state whether they wanted the good quality male or female condoms. i presumed it was the male one. fishball, which one? did they mention? hem.
plus some dunno wooden stick thing with nails in them. plus a compass which im sure jinyang has but we cant get it from him cos everything is sealed by the 18th.
hey joycie and fishball, are you guys going for the prebriefing? i might be going alone, can i join you guys? grin.

jinyang's friend's name sounds quite familar. both me and ruoling feel that way. sounds damn familar. wonder where i've heard his name from. i dont think i know him. unless he's from hwachong, like what ruoling pointed out. mmmmm. interesting. hopefully we can get together before the actual day. better get to know him first before the race itself. and finally, we can all do AR talk! whee.

International volunteers' day - 5 december 2004

A tribute from NCSS to all our Social Service Volunteers
[in celebration of Internation Volunteers Day, 5 Dec 2004]

You are protectors and defenders
With gentleness you strengthen,
With courage you defend
With compassion you nuture
the ones who need it most

You are individuals donating yur time,
giving your heart
You are groups coming together to help
You are corporations lending support
And you are vital for the survival of our society
because the empathy for others,
the spirit of volunteerism,
and the hope and dignity engendered
by giving, are all linked together,
to form a circle of compassion
and in the centre are you, the volunteers

But such is the spirit of giving that it enriches not
only those who receive, but also those who give
Becasue through the act of giving,
we also gain so much
and by adding to the sum of
human kindness and happiness,
volunteers and givers also increase their own.

Thank you for all the hours, the days,
the nights, the weeks, the months
and the years of giving,
and know that gratitude and appreciation
are always with you.


this poem, written on the thank you book mark given by NCSS.
is to all volunteers.
you and me alike.
i dedicate this to all volunteers out there.
[esp to my interact exco! :) fishball, gab, sya, jiahui, xinyi (l), xinyi (k), wanjun, dephne, pk. we worked so hard in 2003 for the organisations and interact itself. this poem goes to you guys :) missing you guys lots and yea of course, exco outing akan datang! [correct usage? muahaha.] which weekend? christmas itself? ]

to all volunteers and budding ones,
happy international volunteers day :)

instead of watching oceans eleven tonight, i shall rewatch Singapore Idol Spectaculars 8.
wanna catch taufik on tv again.


im quite mad aint i?
grin.

night safari is off.
all cos another cuzzie cant make it.
oh sigh. oh wells.
so much of wanting to return to childhood memories.

looks like its gonna be a night with books and oceans eleven.
high quality oceans eleven. (:

dint have time to blog last night.
was out since 830am and only reached home at ard 10 at night. looong day. just in time for me to catch amazing race.

i feel as though im back being a teenager again.
every morning when i go for driving, i try to grab Today newspapers at the station, because i know there will be information on taufik. :) i've been buying eight days since the last 4 weeks staying in touch with the singapore idol news, and i actually went to buy lime today! because taufik was on the cover [im trying to ignore the fact that sly was on the cover as well. grin.] the last time i bought lime was the last time A1 was on the cover, which was eons ago? think sec 4. or sec 3.
but firstly, BIG MUACKS to joycet who voted for taufik for me! :) thankew dearie! :) muacks muacks muacks! :)
i want taufik's "me and mrs jones" mp3 to be put online soon! that song melted me heart more than "lets stay together". gab, go learn that song! i cant believe you went to learn "belaian jiwa" because taufik gave a perfect rendition. muahaha. i'm listening to "I dream" now, and im addicted to it.
i cant wait for his album to come out on 20dec2004. like i say, you want, get it yourself. grins.

yesterday was kinda like a busy day.
had driving in the morning, drove around the roads, managed not to kill me my instructor any humans nor animals. :) driving is fun :)
brought my sis to kembangan after that for her dental xray. she's gonna put braces soon! :)
hopefully she'll get a prettier smile after that :)
then we went bugis for lunch hurriedly cos she had to rush back to rv for choir. enjoyed time spent with my little sis. should bring her out for movie one day together. :) was about to slack away time while waiting to meet kailyn, i met xiaobin! how time flies. they have all finished Alevels. and we are all one year older.
went prom gown shopping with her for a while and caught up with her. its kinda amazing that we could still talk so easily after so long. i mean, she left 03s33 after first three months, and yet it feels as though she was my junior all along. mm wonderful :) its like this when you know friendship can withstand the length of time. :)
just when i was about to settle down when xiaobin finally met her friend, kailyn msged me to tell me she's done! how coincidental that could be :) went to wheelock to meet her and missed the chance of seeing *ahem* muahaha.
managed to catch the 330pm "school of Seduction" and i must admit that show was good.
though the british accent was horrible [i could only catch 70% of what they were saying], amidst all the sexual connotations, there were plenty of values hidden beneath. it wasnt difficult to catch on what they were trying to bring across, values like friendship, single parenthood, the MCP attitude, couplehood, life after marriage, career and marriage. its alot to consider. and it left us wondering, if married life is really as depicted as the movie.
look at your parents. and think. has the spark of love between them died down? are they living their lives as individuals going about their own lives, or are they still as passionate about each other? how do YOU want your married life to be. think about it carefully. do you think you can balance career with marriage? will your other partner complain about you focusing more on career than family? do you think you can? what is more important to you, career or marriage? it got me thinking. seriously. and i havent found the answers. not yet in the long run anyway. wait till im safely attached first. which seems like a long distance away.
we talked and walked around town. checked out the pair of blue shoes at Xodus again. dint get it cos the pattern was only on one side of the shoe. the other side was a plain blue one. not nice. hahaha.
settled down at cafe cartel for dinner and we talked for a long time. told kailyn alot of stuff that i had been thinking about but havent been able to tell anyone. she's the only person whom i can talk such stuff too. sorry dear, that the conversation at some point turned into a depressing one but i just had to get it out. so sorry dear. but i felt better.

cant help but to think when im alone during the holidays, when i have nothing to do.
can school start again?

had driving again today and i did uturns! fun fun fun! heh.
im having driving everyday until the test comes on 30dec. which is very soon. ahh.
and i started only on 01dec. HELP!
speaking of which, im a little worried.
jinyang said he would send me the spore amazing race form via post before he left for brunei. which was on wed/thurs. but i havent received it yet. its friday already. acks. and he's only coming back in three weeks time. maybe i could call his house and ask his mum how i could contact him when he's in brunei. but he's training! mm. its okay. should be able to resolve this easily. ruoling, HELP!!

went to bugis again with my mummy today again after driving. she wanted to go si ma lu. so i accompanied her! and i blew $100 on shopping. hee. bought another pair of blue shoes at Xodus for $50 [and fishball was the first person to see that pair cos i met her at JE mrt on the way home! and the blur fishball pei me to the 334 place when she admitted sheepishly she had to go popular! heehee. but it was nicee seeing you dearie! :) ] and a batik like tube for $22.90, which went with a pair of red funky bottoms for $22.90 :) cheap! and i shopped at OG. my blur mummy saw a nice IS dress going for $89 and she thought OG bugis would have. so we searched the entire 2 floors for at least half an hour before deciding to ask the cashier about it. they told us it was only available at OG orch pt. blearh. but i love IS dresses. think im falling in love with iS. remember my prom dress last year was also from iS! :) grin. the nicee sweet memories of prom last year at shangrila. grin.

i have something fun tmr!
tuition in the afternoon, and then we're going to the night safari!
cos we got free tix from my cousin who held his wedding dinner at the birdpark, so we're going with our paternal side. cousins and all. :) of course we would only go if there were free tix, if not why would we end up at night safari on a saturday night? :) im starting to love going out with my cousins. can gugu suggest going ktv soon? so that she can pay for ALL OF US. grin.

should i stay home on sunday or should i meet kor?

TAUFIK BATISAH, OUR FIRST SINGAPORE IDOL!!!
CONGRATS TAUFIK!!
WE ALL LOVE YOU!

AT LEAST, I DO!
grin.
im on such a high now.
think im gonna buy his first album coming out on 17dec2004.
im hogging it. and im not gonna rip it.
you want his tracks? buy it yourself. :)