was looking at childhood photos just now.
felt as though i was walking down memory lane.
looking at what had happened in the past and having fun reliving the memories.
since i was born, my parents took alot alot of photos. when i was just barely a toddler to the times when the few familes went to sentosa and genting for holidays and when my sis was born.. and the times we went to chinese garden during the lantern festival as one big family.. the memories were plain wonderful. and i must admit, i was a vainpot when i was young. very vain. very poser. cos i loved to pose. dont ask me why, maybe you could blame it on the acting classes i took when i was young. posed here there and everywhere. had fun keeping myself amused while looking at the pictures just now.
then i stumbled upon my mother's pictures. goodness she was damn chio. seriously damn pretty. my dad was indeed lucky to marry her. very lucky. not that my dad wasnt looking good, but looking at the two of them now..
my dad with his pot belly and my mum still in her beauty, of course i would like to tease my dad of being soooo wonderfully lucky la. grin. and he was amused to see that i had dug out his NS photo. he took the oblong photo, examined it and pronounced he couldnt find himself. grin. i couldnt too. it was sooo long ago my goodness.
then i came upon my mother's and father's marriage photos. the person who did makeup on my mum made a very baddd mistake by painting her white. as in, really, she looked very white. and my dad, being a harbour pilot and exposed to the sun, and being naturally soo tanned, looked like bitumen standing right beside my mum. i think i take after my dad. in terms of skin colour. grin. but my mum commented i take after my grandfather in terms of looks. eh okay. yeps.
then came upon kindergarten photos where i see myself standing beside elvin and elton. or rather, sandwiched between the two of them. grin. we used to be so close when we were young. sooo close. have plenty of pictures where the three of us were together, of course, with me sandwiched between the two brothers. maybe one reason would be our ages are only one year apart so yeah, maybe we were sooo close. elton usually took care of all of us, especially when alfred cheryl and my sis came along. yeah. he looked like the father taking care of soo many kids. and till now i still see the fatherly nature in him. he would make a good husband. anybody out there wanna get to know elton? grin. as for elvin, i have no idea why but we shared plenty of photos together. obviously when we were young and innocent la. of course we shunned them as we grew closer. but i hafta admit, he's one heck of a handsome young guy now la.. the only recent picture we took together was at his comissioning parade.. yeps. missed the times when we went to sentosa, genting and cruises together.. had tons of fun at the arcades when the older ones (i.e. the three of us) having to take care of the younger ones to avoid losing them..
miss the good old days of us being young and carefree..
and i need to admit, i look cute when i was young. very cute. grin.
fine. typical ego me.
lalalala.

wheee.
had a great day today. absolutely fun. enjoyed myself thorougly. very much. thank you 1E4. thank you soo much for making the first day of my holidays such a wonderful one.
put it this way. left home early at around 11plus and went bugis area to go 'bai bai' with my parents. and then we went to og to walk walk and shop shop. soo funny. i was just trying on shades for fun, my dad saw and he came over and pointed to one obiang one and told my mum, 'why dont you go get that.' and two of us were like er. nearly got a pair of nice shades but decided not to. wanted to go to the green shades shop at jurong point to have a better look first. yeps.
after that my mum saw this nice orange kipling big bag going for $64, after 50% discount and she was like 'worthy buy, for your uni studies.' and im like 'orange bag'. so she bought it for my birthday. and then after that dropped by giodano and got a black racer top. and then i saw this pair of nice nice slippers (and it's blue in colour by the way "P ) and my mum bought it for me. today's expenses was footed by my parents, courtesy of my birthday presents so not getting any monies from them this year but i dont mind. grin.
then my parents dropped me off at westmall at about 2 so i had half hour to spare so i bummed it off at the library. as usual. met some of them at the station control after that and they brought me down to summerhill. these people are the 1E4 girls. with daniel and chin kuang following pathetically behind cos they were the only 2 boys at the station control. the rest were already at the condo playing basketball. ack. grin. after reaching there, the girls started taking out presents and cards and yeah, was seriously touched by them. their sincerity in organising the class bbq at tiffany/yiwen/shinyee's place and making the class cards plus the small little presents. after that gossiped alot with the group of girls with tiffany going non stop about yong jie. non stop. my goodness. and they are alot more experienced than us (im serious yeah?) in relationships. sheesh. the number of steads and ex-steads and the length of their relationships simply scares me. grin. but i had alot of fun la. 3 monkeys crashed the bbq. 3 sec2s crashed it. like jinghan, edmund and jianming. the monkey who has the same birthday as me. sheesh. and edmund's sis is mag from rgs. from ncc. no wonder the name sounded vaguely familar. yy, remember mag ng? psl. grin. yeps. most of the girls were mainly talking while the guys were playing bball nonstop la. they were all sweaty and dirty after that.
kailyn joined us at around 6plus and tiffany was soooo happy. yeps. grin. her english rep mah. and yuan shin and daniel came at 5 plus. everybody had fun teasing everybody about everything. even yuan shin and daniel got dragged in because the whole class thought they were dating since they looked so compatible. which i do agree. oops. grin. kailyn's dog joined us later and the girls were squealing in delight. im serious. hahaha. and as usual at any other typical bbq, we dint get to eat anything. or rather i did la. 3 hotdogs and that was it. grin.
so after that me kailyn and her dad plus silky (her dog if you havent realised) ate macs around the area near my house (at the cc lor..) at 9 plus. oh wells. very very very full now. and when we were leaving, the girls turned on their taps. i.e. some started crying. sigh. cant help it if im leaving right. but i guess i will miss chiayin and jazreel the most. i mean, i see chiayin as a younger sis la. and jazreel is my geog rep so naturally think i'll miss them more. hopefully will get to meet up with them during the hols. mean while, some pictures of the bbq today, courtesy of yuan shin who sneaked away in her car after fetching some of them to railmall to buy drinks and brought them back in her car and never came up.
will miss yuan shin and daniel. daniel was supposed to sms me his email add. which he havent. he's more concerned about the shirt he left at tiff's place. oooooh. grin. and jinghan was amazed at daniel's bball's skills. well. if he's gonna be a PE teacher next time, it has to be good wat. grin.


small group photo


girls watching guys play bball. sigh. "P


me tiff daniel sitting while the girls tried to take our pictures. ack.


paparrazi.. "P


me daniel yuanshin. shaky. sheesh. grin.


not sure what chuanmin was doing. jazreel looked shocked.

grin.

heyyyyyyyyyy.
im in a relatively happy mood.
i mean. yeah i enjoyed myself today. all by myself. not the song. as in really. i enjoyed being alone going out today.
had jap class in the morning and went to woodlands library just now. all by myself. happy girl. i mean. i reached there at around 130, got myself settled down and mugged till 430. then i went in search of my favourite books and novels. and i couldnt find crichton books. a tad disappointed. but oh wells. soon the jurong east branch will open and that will be my hangout place. look for me 24/7 there. fine i know i wont be sleeping there but there you go. grin. lugged 7 heavy books home plus 5 enviro foolscap paper booklets home cos it was on offer outside the library. plus my jap books, dictionary and worksheets. argh. having a cranky neckache plus my arms are aching. grin. but i really enjoyed myself today. and i realised to my amusement, that econs is interesting. reminds me of human geog. what would have happened if i had went to s6 instead of s3 when i was in hwa chong? hm. i dont know. i mean, the past has passed so. yeah.
sometimes going out alone can be quite fun. havent tried watching movie alone. should try that someday. going up to the counter and asking for ONE ticket. going in alone. all by myself. wonder how would that feeling be. hm. hm. hm.
as life continues like this, it can become a bore. so maybe i shouldnt blog so often. yeah.
i'll see how things go along first.
but tomorrow, i have the BBQ to go to. it should be fun. i hope. i think. =)

ack.
sat at the hairstylist for approx 5 hours and devoured 2 books during that time. fine i was rebonding my hair. yea i know. again. but the last time i did that was exactly one year ago and dont worry im not frying my hair so people concerned, relac. grin. abit gong gong now. dont know why also. first time i spent the whole saturday at home. if i consider sitting at the hairsalon at home, yea im home the whole day today.
sheesh i need the library tmr. will go after jap class.
speaking of which, my jap homework. argh. sigh. will do it tonight later. provided i dont get distracted by the tv or the computer. which ever comes first.

im seem to be blogging a day late..
feel like blogging yesterday's events which i dint get down to blog cos i was.. too tired to blog and was busy chatting with students. so there you go. grin.
sheesh. after school went with my mum to jurong point to shop for clothes and i ended up spending approx $160 on clothes, shoes and one birthday present. groan. im spending too much. and i just spent $160 odd on clothes just two weeks ago. ahh im splurging.. i shouldnt be doing this. but then again the holidays are finally here and im should be enjoying myself so there you go. grin.

today was my last day in school today. its encouraging to hear students saying 'ms teo, you come back and teach us la.." cos ultimately those words of encouragement are soothing to the ears and it does encourage people like me who likes to hear nice things. really. grin. got a couple more pressies today and one was actually a red bear from tanty but she refused to sign off, making it look like a present from the entire 1E1 when actually she bought it. so sweet. and i especially like the card made by the 2E1 girls.. and the small little sign.. oh sigh. guess i would miss them when the time comes. yeah. and im supposed to go for the 1E4's class gathering bbq at summerhill together with yuanshin and daniel. im staying away from the pool. i dont wanna be pushed into the pool. kailyn dearest, the kids really want you to come down too.. yeps. so do come down after your work k? oh wells.

well. was watching 2E5 doing classroom cleaning today and i felt so weird. seemingly out of place but yet im not. i dint feel like a teacher but yet im not the student. i soo wanted to pick up a rag and start cleaning the windows but i was only supposed to keep an eye on them. if i really did, i wonder what would mr tam say. really. he was preoccupied with meet-the-parents session. thank goodness im not involved. phew. and somebody was shouting into the next block, trying to gain the attention of either a sec 3 or 4 girl, am i right sean? grin. glenn was cleaning the fans and twirling them at the same time i was actually worried that he would cut his head off. but then again, the chances of that happening would be as minute at 1 in a trillion. or maybe a million. just in case somebody had switched on the fans by accident or something.. grin. which wouldnt happen anyway la..

was clearing my room for the whole afternoon and threw away a hell lot of papers. and came across the letter i wrote to my class people as a whole. read it again and thought that it was pretty sweet of me to come honest with my opinions. yea gimme an ego boost man. grin. here was what i wrote.

Dearest classmates.

Considering the fact that most of us would be going on our own separate ways after A levels, I decided to compose a letter to all of you as a whole, to remember the fun times we spent together and the classes we�ve been through for the past 2 years (well, almost...), to forge deeper friendships between all of us and hopefully, to remember our one and only 02S33 of hwa chong junior college.

Haha. I sound utmost serious and sentimental here, but I just want to say that whatever I say here are my most sincere true feelings and I hope nobody is offended through out the cause of this letter. Initially I tried to compose a cute poem, something like an ode to 02S33, but sad to say, I failed to succeed. Thee shalt try again later, if I have the enlightment and inspiration to continue what I failed just now.

Okay, enough crap. Oops. Hee. Anyway, the process of how this special class was formed was indeed a tumultuous one, and that particular period is still etched deeply within my memories. Indeed, it was saddening for me to leave behind 02S36, but it was also a new beginning to my junior college life as a 02S33 student. Initially, I was confused and upset, at seeing how my friends left for other colleges and relief at seeing some coming back to join us ultimately. Also, there was the usual uneasiness at meeting new people in the new class with most of you being PRCs. I have to admit that I felt a tad uncomfortable because I never had a PRC classmate in my entire life (with the exception of zhang qing in first three months J) and I did not know what to expect. However, now I came to realise that I forgot that everyone of us were ultimately students, fellows of HJC and human beings. *grin* pardon me if my behaviour initially was that of aloof and ignorance, with a little unbearing because I really had no idea on how to handle such circumstances.

Guess it was pretty obvious to Mr Lim (remember him? He�s currently teaching at jurong west secondary school which is somewhere in boon lay if I am not mistaken) that the Singaporeans and Chinese scholars were not really mixing. Therefore, he took out one particular period to make all of us draw maps of our countries on the whiteboard and identify where we lived. That was a memorable time. I knew we had fun laughing at each other�s maps because it was totally out of shape and some of us did not even know where our homes were exactly located within the country! That broke the ice between all of us and I guess from that point of time, we started to converse with each other, no matter in how small and minute a way it may be. It was a significant beginning and wonderful start to the making of new friendships.

The angel mortal game we tried to initiate catalysed the understanding between everybody, though I knew it was going to be an easy game because it was kind of easy to guess who your angel and mortal would be within the class itself. Can you guys still remember your angel and mortal? Me angel was Hai Tao (right? J) for he stated in one of his letters that he liked to sing, especially Sun yanzi. See, I can still remember! And I shared a mortal with Ruoling, who was Si kang. He said he liked bus guides, so we went out to get the latest one for him. We saw his face of initial surprise, then amusement during one of the lectures when he received the present, and that feeling was simply wonderful. To be able to make people smile is a blessed skill and we ought to do it more often. *smile*

The chalet in May 2002 at downtown east was considered a success (in my opinion at least...) most of us turned up and we had an enjoyable time. It gave us the chance to interact even more and get to know each other better. I can vividly remember the guys pigging out on the bed watching television, and the girls playing cards the whole night through. With an occasional senior �pop in session� to entertain the class, it was definitely a memorable way to celebrate the end of block test 1.

Time flew past in the second half of the year when everybody began to get more busy and committed to his or her CCAs. I, for one, definitely spent more time with Interact after I took over the reins as president. However the times we shared in class, like when de wen tried to crack funny lame jokes, or one of the guy PRCs say something funny, causing the entire first row to engulf in laughter and leave the rest of the class baffled as to �what was so funny?� Those minor little things that may not seem significant in your entire life, plays a small but important role to me. These are the things I remember that happened in my jc life, and highly unlikely to occur somewhere else.

Brigde sessions was common and often, with some lasting till late at night around 7 plus 8. Those are the wacky and crazy times the girls shared. To Ruoling and Sijia, remember our rum and rasin night? When all of us got �drunk� and were on such a high it was truly an unforgettable night. It is such a wonder to be able to play bridge like hell for the past 2 years and avoid getting caught by the teachers. The only time we were caught was on teacher�s day and we were so lucky that Elaine toh tan just let us off with a warning just because it was teachers� day. How lucky. *grin*

Promotional Examinations came and flew past. Festival of sports was another event that saw the class united in the cause of playing for the fun of it, and at the same time, hoping to be able to build stronger bonds. Most of us participated enthusiastically and enjoyed ourselves tremendously despite the fact that we were thrashed most of the time and how I let in two goals during floorball at the hall. Oops. Encouragement and cheering were heard, urging the players to play their hearts out and enjoy the thick of action on the courts.

2003 arrived. We became seniors and had our own junior class. To be honest, I did not know what type of junior class to expect and how they would react to us seniors. But thankfully they were enthusiastic and fun (just like their dear old seniors *ego* )we enjoyed bringing them into the hwa chong big far-mily (remember dear old mr ang for this ah�) and cruising through orientation with them. I felt as though I was back in j1 when I could enjoy life till the maximum.

Dramafeste 2003 was a totally new experience for me. Realised most of the cast and crew (say the j2 main committee) came from S33 and I can indeed say that we put in our entire efforts into producing the best we wanted the whole play to turn out. Kudos to jinyang and de wen, our wonderful directors, and sijia, our productions manager. I really enjoyed working with you guys, this play was truly a product of our hard work and I am proud of it.

This was also the year whereby I talked to the girl PRCs a lot more and I truly can say that you girls are a funky cool cute caring bunch of wonderful females. Finally, during this year, I shed my uneasiness and awkwardness to befriend everybody in the class. Though I may not have succeeded and still rarely talked to some as compared to the others, I personally feel that I feel so much more at ease with everybody in class this year.

In 2002, I felt as though I was living in a virtual world where some things were unexplainable and awkward. But this year was indeed a turning point. Towards April, may 2003, I felt enlightened and as though I just woke up from a dream (don�t ask me how thought, it was as if something clicked within me). Felt more carefree than the past 1.5 years and maybe matured considerably in the process. Learnt to take things in my stride and look at the positive side of life I guess.

I had walked through a learning journey in this 2 years and I am glad that all of you have been in my long winding journey, entertaining me, keeping me company for the past 2 years. I truly appreciate what everybody in the class have done for me in the past 2 years, be it in a small way or a big impact. You guys are truly a wonderful group of people and I am glad to be part of it. Definitely I am closer to some people in class due to the very nature of human beings who tend to clique with people of common interests and shared ideals, and I am glad for their encouragement and accompany.

All in all, I hope all of us will keep fond memories of 02S33 in 2002 and 2003. remember this class ten years down the road because it is �one of a kind� experience and we will never experience this ever again. Time has past and it�s time for all of us to move on. Hold on tightly to your dreams and pursue them as time goes along, but at the same time hold on to the bonds of friendships that we have fostered over the past two years and never let go of it. Lock the memories in your heart and look back at them from time to time. You will find yourself smiling at the childishness then and the memorable times we had shared once then.

Best wishes to everybody and may your dreams come true. Remember to keep in touch and take care always.

Yours sincerely,
Weina (also fondly known as nana. Hee)
19-10-2003

yeps. and that was the letter. kinda crappy i know. but it contained my utmost sincere feelings. really. and i came up with the poem ultimately.

A special class was born (02S33!)
in the midst of Singapore
at a certain famous college
called the hwa chong junior college

the story of how they formed
was indeed interesting
with heart wrenching stories
and surprising little twists

soon enough dust settled
and things were back to normal
you could see a line though
between two groups of people

interesting to observe
that a class of chinese students
couldnt even integrate
and all because they differentiate!

as time went on
we learnt to form
new relations
in some forms
no matter small
or how minute
it's the thought
and just that counts

time flies and soon
we'll be parting for our separate ways
keep in mind each other
keep in touch and dont lose touch

we have spend two years together
please cherish the special moments
and think back of yesterday
for we were once young and innocent then

i love you
you love me
we are one big far-mily
with a great big hug
and a kiss from me to you
wont you say you love me too

whee. grin.
i miss the good ol' days. as 02s33 and 02s36.
really.

attention: if you do not wish to know who is the next american idol and would like to find out for yourself tonight on channel 5 at 10pm tonight, do not continue reading. come back again after you know the results. sorry for the spoiler.













damn. fuck.
fantasia barrino won american idol. may she be the next rubeun and hopefully diana will soar like clay aiken. not that he's soaring very high now but still, its pretty obvious clay is doing better in the music industry as compared to rubeun though i do prefer the cuddly teddy bear. yesh. ah sigh. fuck the judges. they just had to compliment fantasia to the skies and convince america along that fantasia is the best. which aint true. but well, it's america's choice, not mine so i cant really say much if we look at it this way. ah sheesh. i thought diana did better yesterday, though i do admit she screwed up on her last song. whereas fantasia sounded awul in her first, good in summertime and okay for her last song. ah sheesh. what the heck. i'd never buy fantasia's album, cos she screeches and not sings. argh blearh.

hmm. you guys might be wondering why i dint blog yesterday. no time la. went out to watch the day after tomorrow with ruoling and im telling you the movie is good. very geographical but it is good. never a lax moment, and it does keep you in suspense all the time. quite nerve racking, and it's actually quite thought provoking to me. cos it got me thinking about the fragile system of the nature of the earth and what would happen to singaporeans if such a situation does occur in singapore. somewhere during the movie, i felt as though i was watching a documentary, but a very interesting documentary with a storyline to spice things up. the storyline is pretty much simple but it's the facts that contribute to the excitement of the whole movie. trying to predict the weather and what would happen. and finally we saw the great super power fall, which is quite shiok actually. but of course, we shouldnt be thinking that way so there you go. im trying not to say too much cos it's supposed to only open in cinemas today so yeah. i wont mind watching the show again. really. serious. no kidding. think i'd rate it as high as the italian job for me. but again, that's me you see. grin.

then reached home at around 9 plus.. bathed and talked on the phone until i went to watch american idol until 12. and slept at 1am cos i was reading. totally shacked today but i have nothing to do with my classes. or more like i dont know what to do since there is only 2 more days to end of school. and school holidays start. finally. whee. grin. i cant wait. i simply cant wait.

yawn.

i will not go into a tirade against comestics and beauty packages. i will not. i must control. ah what the heck.

girls lemme tell you this. we dont need cosmetics nor beauty packages to make us look good. when you feel good and confident of yourself, you are good. and presentable. the thick layer of chemicals over the sensitive skin does not help in enhancing the rosiness in your cheeks now nor giving your face a total makeover. it just blocks your pores for that particular period of time you put on the thick layer of chemicals. sheesh. i mean, come on. we dont need make up now at this point in time when we're supposed to be youth and cheery and bright. time is on our side now. we're not in our 40s or 50s so to speak. so what the hell with all the cosmetics and things like that? sheesh. i hate seeing people walking along the streets with blue eyelids and rosy like red cheeks with purple lipstick. that is called painting your face, and not putting on makeup to look better. instead i'd think you look like a ghost. going for halloween instead. goodness. if you look good, you will need nothing to make you look good. if you think you dont, there's something wrong with your confidence level. which was what i thought in the past, and maybe now too. i dont have that much confidence as what some people think. im just -me-. somebody who cant accept makeup right now so stop pushing makeup products in front of my face and complain when i dont use them. cos i just plain dont wanna use. natural beauty is the foremost important thing. you may be able to put on makeup the whole day through but at the end of the day, you wash them off, leaving a clean and natural face. wont that feel so much more comfortable than having tons of makeup piled on your innocent face? who knows, cosmetics may actually do more harm than good if you look at it from the skin's point of view. wont you feel, more yourself? not having to put on a stupid facade the whole day through. or are you trying to say that you would rather live with the facade and not yourself? if so, i have only one word for you and that is FAKE.
look i am not pinpointing anybody in particular but i would just like to rant out my feelings about not using cosmetics and makeup. come one. they do more harm than good to your skin. so what if you look better? it's all artificial. all paint.
maybe i might come to regret whatever im saying right now in time to come, but as my stand now is: i will not be putting on makeup and nobody can force me to do so.
sheesh. what the hell man.

pant pant pant.
im tired after blasting cosmetics and beauty products.
come challenge me if you beg to differ.
im waiting.

yawn.
saw life this morning and they were talking about american idol 3.
finals is tmr and it's going to be 2 hours long. all the way to midnight. groan. think im going to fall asleep in school on thursday and chong will have to send relief teachers to take my class since im asleep in my cubicle. and yeah, i managed to wriggle my way out of the humans meeting on thursday. now lemme try to escape tmr's english dlc. grin. cant wait for the finals actually. i want diana degarmo to win. not fantasia barrino. sorry sean, but to each his/her own i guess. i mean, look at diana. she has matured from a 'tryingtoactcutebutfailingtodosocoshersizeishuge' girl to a girl who can captivate and hold the audience using her voice. she has power lungs that's for sure. somehow, she reminds me of celine dion. a white lady with power lungs.
let's take a look at the top 12 contestants. of course from my point of view. grin. or else why would i blog about it here.
let's start off with my favourites.
George Huff:
he's got charisma, charm. you name it he has it. loved the way he sang 'bring me to the pilot' my goodness. i downloaded the song and has been replaying it ever since i got the mp3 clip. like what simon said, he can connect and i think he does have a good voice. simply melts when he sings the love songs, entirely touching and it hits you straight at the heart. ahh. i miss him on stage. truly do. groan. if only i can see him perform on stage with the songs he sang for the finals.
Latoya London.
She is the woman. or 'da bomb' as Randy Jackson puts it. i mean, my ideal top 2 would be george and latoya. then i wont know who to vote for if given a chance. ah what the heck. vote for two la. been humming 'all by myself' ever since i heard her sang it. when jasmine trias sang it again, i thought latoya was so much better. so so so so much better. latoya's version of 'all by myself' sent shivers down me. for being so heart pounding, and fantabulous. it's simply an american idol classic. like fantasia's 'summertime'.
John stevens.
my man. sniff sniff. i mean, yeah he has a different sounding voice and that was what made him unique. different. of course that dint help him when they had to sing different genres of songs to test their variety of song breadth since they're coming up with an american idol and not a jazz singer. so yeah. but he's MY man. for staying so innocent and unique and different throughout the entire competition. for staying strong after so many bullets had been shot through it. this was what simon said. somehow. if i dint remember it wrongly. yeps. sniff. if only i could hear him sing 'as time goes by' once more.
jasmine trias.
sweet hawaiian hula girl. missed the times when she had the flower in her hair. think she tried to change by taking the flower out when simon kept emphasising on their young ages ( i.e. jasmine john stevens and diana) but sad to say, she dint succeed. she was good, but not great. she dint quite deserve to be in the top 5 honestly. maybe jennifer hudson but then again.
Diana Degarmo
She's grown. like what i mentioned above. she has improved. tremendously. wonderfully. her 'dont cry out loud' last week was FLAWLESS. another classic. how can people not want her to win when she's on a roll? she knows how to connect, and deliver. she's one, who has grown since the competition and i want her to win.
fantasia barrino.
i hate her. (sorry sean!!) she sounds like a donald duck and behaves like one. she used her daughter to gain sympathy votes and she's not improving. in fact i think she's deproving. but then again, her rendition of 'summertime' was wonderful. so touching that it made paula cry.

and the rest are pretty much rather insignificant to me so yeah. there you go. amy adams with her pink hair. camille leah matthew and jon peter lewis. not much of an impression there. but i suppose we'll hear more from the top 5 in future, when they're awarded contracts with recording companies. i mean, look. people like george and latoya WILL get contracts. so will fantasia and diana. just like clay and rubuen. i still prefer the cuddly teddy to the skinny fella. grin.
i bet there would be a big hoo-haa over the votes again. mark my words.
till then. seacrest out. oh wait. aint it nana out?
grin.

i still have plenty of time before school is dismissed. wanna go home and sleep. no wait. i wanna go home and play neopets. feel like playing neopets all of a sudden again today. no wait. maybe i should finish the mintues before playing neopets. and read congo. and im supposed to be doing results analysis now. but what the heck. i have plenty of time. the usual excuse i give myself. havent been blogging long entries for a while i see.

and yes sean, i gave you the 'aint no mountain high enough' on purpose. cos i saw on your msn that particular phrase and thought you should be a fan of american idol 3 as well. oh wells. its supposed to mean something as well you know, aside from the american idol part. making mini bookmarks for my classes. wonder what happened to most of them. like what sam said, the girls will keep them and the boys will throw it aside. it's more like to encourage on la, but yeah i do agree with him that it would soon be left somewhere along the corridor, or lost or broken during a scuffle of sorts. oh wells. it's the thought that counts anyway. went stationary shopping yesterday at jurong point popular. bought pens. plenty of uniball 0.38 colour pens. such that the price mounted to a shocking high that i dint realise. oh wells. shall comfort myself in the fact that i will need to use them when i start making notes. yeps. got a present from 3 1E2 girls today already. hm. and the 1E4 girls are complaining that i dint tell them this week was my last week. oops. oh wells. look at it this way, i dont wanna make a grand exit. i dint come in with a grand entrance and i dont have to. sheesh. well. 4 more working days. whee.

yawn. have tired eyes. my eyebags are getting from baddd to worse. it was darn obvious from the pictures we took yesterday. my mum was saying my eye bags look extremely jialat. sheesh. my mum says i've been spending too much time in front of the computer. which is true in a way. i'm either looking at the computer, or the tv, or the wall when i lie on my bed to talk on the phone. which is basically what i've been doing for the past few days. yeah. and lying on the bed when i read my book. and listen to music. oh wells. that's life for me now. slacking away. bumming away.
in a way i dont wanna go for orientation camps. as in. i feel lethargic. i feel tired. not in the mood to get out of bed and havoc. i just wish to spend some quiet time. watching movies, catching up with friends, playing bridge and mahjong. maybe the class chalet at the end of june might get me in the mood for school life. but now, i just dont feel it. as in, feeling the mood for camps and games and making new friends. instead. i seem to the wary of it. but then again, i do know that if i miss out on these camps or whatsoever, i would miss out on the chance to make uni friends. which is something everybody needs for the next 3 years odd 4 years. it's impossible to get pass uni without friends. you cant be a loner. or rather, i dont wanna be a loner. sheesh im contradicting myself so much that im getting a little confused.
but maybe that is really how i feel now. confused. tired. lost. sleepy. slacker.
yeah i know it. im a lazy bum.
lazy as can be.
i dont even feel like planning lessons for the rest of this week anymore. since i do know this is my last week. and i dont wanna go for meetings. blearh. thee shalt pon. if they have the word 'pon' in the shakespearean texts which i highly doubt so. ahhh sleepy. oh wells.
shrek 2 is a worthy watch. the cat is really really really very cute. maybe i should ditch sam for the cat. ditch the mule for the cat. which was what shrek did initially when the cat turned to work for him! grin. he wont be seeing this until vesak day so yeps. grin. but the storyline is not bad and the animation is wonderful. but it would be good if you have watched shrek initially before watching shrek 2. yeps. and stay on after the credits cos there's a short 1 minute ending. thanks jinyang for telling me that on saturday night before we watched it on sunday. the theatre was full. freaking full. we had good seats, cos i went to buy the tix on saturday afternoon before comn serve. yeps.
hopefully the day after tmr and harry potter would be good as well. my mum is complaining im watching too many movies. yeps. grin. ah but i cant help it if all the blockbusters are coming out now right? tell hollywood to stop it, not me. grin.
the bell just rang. 2 more periods to end of school. which means there's approx 1 hour 10 minutes more to end of school. good. cos i think i really wanna sleep.

i need to go on a diet. weight has hit an all time high of 54kg. ever since the start of this year. i need to go on a diet. my ideal weight would be 50kg la. but my mum says i'll never get down to that considering how much i eat. well that's quite true. but hey i dont snack. i eat my meals. that's all. maybe i should take away the teatime im giving myself in school. and maybe it's high time i get my butt out in the fresh air to exercise. ah it's time. whine. im too lazy to exercise... sheesh. as usual. me and my excuses.

almost dint blog just now. was busy multi tasking. watching my "my best friend's wedding", trying to come up with worksheets but giving up ultimately. and msning with daniel online for a short while. went out for most of the day today and yeah i did have fun. went to jurong point with sam and watched shrek 2. damn funny. my goodness the cat is sooooooooooo cute. oops. fine. you guys get the idea. and yeah. i seem so much like a movie buff now. watching the day after tmr on wednesday with ruoling, and catching harry potter next tuesday with the rest. whee. having fun. i look forward to having fun during the holidays. when i start studying as well. yeps. yeps. i know i've been going on and on about this, but i simply cant wait to get back and be a student. seriously.

wells. it a saturday night and im home. surprise of all surprises.
well, put it this way. i havent been home for the past 4 saturday nights and evenings . out mah. so yah la. this is the first time in a long while that im home and this will continue for quite some time. yeah. oh wells. it will remain this way until ndp is over. blearh. bored. so so bored. stayed at home for the morning and went for comn serve in the afternoon. i've got donation cards!! so people, if you let me catch you any of these days.. hiakhiak. students included. so dont try to hide from me. streetwise is back again mah, hence the reason for me being armed with my donation cause. peeps. look at it this way, all this is all for a good cause. so please donate! yesh. streetwise is on 040704, a sunday, so do go down and donate. pretty please thank you. it will be held at east coast park and if you wish to take part in the run, please contact me. thankew.

bored.
was trying to do my jap homework while atching tv just now but failed terribly. talking to one of my school students (when i say this, i mean i dont teach him but he's from the same sec school) just now about his problems. and im glad that he chooses to confide in me about those problems la. just since when did i become a counsellor? oh wells. it's nice to feel important. it's just me la. wanting to feel needed and important. and there for people. maybe that's why i crave attention. maybe. oh wells.
one more week to school holidays. one more week to tons of free time. one more week plus a few more days to harry potter. less than one more week to the day after tmr. two more weeks and two days to MY BIRTHDAY. oops. i just had to make that clear la. grin. yeah.
think that's all i have for today.
boring boring boring day.
so sad.
sheesh.
bored.

that yuan is mad. really mad with her er-hem. but then again, dear i wish you luck k? he lives VERY near me, within walking distance. just too bad i dont know him or i'd walk up to him and say, "teo shu yuan is a very nice, sweet chio girl whom you should consider. here's her handphone number." grin. dont kill me. i would then be merely doing you a favour. lalalala. not bad sia. first your jj is my uncle's friend's son. now this guy. hmmmm.

was home very early today. very. around 2 i think. even my mum was surprised. but since i had nothing to do in school, i might as well return home and rest. yeps. i'll go play neopets and read my book. then i'll watch tv. then my dinner. and tv again. and then i should get down to type my minutes. better finish typing them. stuart is asking for them. but we just had our meeting on monday. and there's still one week odd to our next meeting. whine. he prolly wants to act on some matters but forgot the details that's why he's rushing me for the minutes. oh wells. will give it to him by tonight. i promise.

oh phew. finally. every single bit of detail entered and taken care of. i finished my acad class free writing. finally. finished running through the geog paper briefly with the entire level today during centralised checking. and got their marks down, confirmed and entered into results management and cockpit.
i'm tired. really tired. mentally. yeah.
look at it this way, the schedule for keying in of results is so tight, there's really not much breathing space. results have to be keyed into the school cockpit by 1pm tmr. so that the students can check on monday. and results slips printed on tuesday, sent for signature on wednesday and given out on thurs during meet the parents session. i hope they dont put me down for meet the parent session. i need to go to RVHS to talk to the teachers there about my sister. oh hell. or rather, my mum is gonna drag me there as a translator. oh great. but i'll prolly be a nuisance there as well, trying to create trouble for the teacher through my mother. oops.

anyway. just msged eileen just now. suddenly thought of her, so gave her a msg la. honestly speaking, i do miss talking to her. hopefully we can meet up during the june hols when everybody else is still working.
im a feeling person k. i may not be bothered to msg, or call. but i still think of you guys. my friends. you know who you are, i dont have to name you. to those who consistently bother to come and read my long and crappy blog entries. thank you. at least i know you bother, bother to find out about me and my daily life nowadays considering the little 'dates' we have with one another. and no, im not refering to sam now. grin. so far i see that mule at least twice a month. but i wonder what will happen when ndp rehearsals increase in frequency. hum. so as you can see, i still have plenty time for me friends. really. im not a zhong se qing you person. im a jiang qing jiang yi person. yeah.
yawn.
im tired.

jasmine trias is out. oh wells. i did see that coming, considering diana was the best performer last night, especially with her flawless last song, and fanstasia was just that little better *tiny gap between two fingers* than jasmine, and jasmine should have gone long long time ago. yes i know she is chio. and sweet. with her megawatt smile. im not surprised if most of her votes were coming from boys between the age of 13-16. quote one of my sec one boys. "cher, if jasmine was a singaporean, i sure jio her wan." walau. sheesh.

had a weird dream last night. i dreamt that i was on a date with WILBER PAN! whoowhoo. heh. grin. im was bringing him around singapore on a tour and suddenly we landed up in an indian stall eating roti prata. and just minutes after that, we went clubbing. and then my mum woke me up. i was grumbling about her waking me up amidst a nice sweet dream and she laughed her head off. madly. oh sigh. nice dream wat, with the cutest guy somemore. oh swoon. lalala.
hey im still entitled to swoon over cute guys k? "P
provided somebody dont get jealous la. lalalala.

i should be watching tv now. but somehow i just wanted to come online and blog. yes again. dont ask me why. oh wells.
im letting my comp do an online virus scan again. somehow i figured out that there's something obstructing me from getting to the anti virus websites and i dont want history to repeat itself again. so im rather lucky to be able to access the trend micro website to do my online scanning. urgh. irritating viruses. sheesh. get away from my computer. argh.
ah dimmit. i have the stupid agobot (aka gaobot) virus. ah sigh. now i have to look around for the removal tool.
fine. i just found it. some subsidy of symantec has it and thankfully im not blocked from that website. oh sigh. how suay can i get. sheesh.

wonder who is going to leave american idol today. even when i know that jasmine trias is the weakest out of all three, i want fantasia to be booted out. for all i care cos it's downright obvious that it is a popularity vote and not a talent show. in that case, why keep fantasia in the running? gotta deflate that big fat ego of hers, americans.

in school blogging. dint wanna reach home early today yeah. considering the hot weather, i think i'd rather freeze myself than to stay stuffy and hot. yeps. and im supposed to be coming up with more post exam worksheets for the classes and im running out of ideas. oh wow. yawn. i actually look forward to the holidays now. sheesh. i know that's not the point but still. countdown: 7 more working days. sheesh. i wanna take a break. a nice long break. away from singapore. oh wells. the cruise idea was taken up by kailyn. but she has yet to decide whether she wants a long cruise or a short one. come to think about it. neither have i. oh hm. which one should we go for? going prolly mid or early july. when it's the off peak season and the prices are slightly cheaper. yeah. oh wells. we'll leave that for the time being i guess. hm. plenty of things i want to do during the hols that i cant find the time to do now. yeps. like what. er. cant seem to bring any to mind now. oh i know. study. and study. and going out. and. and. some more things. yeah. prolly catch up with more people, even if they might still be working. grab the relief teachers who would be currently jobless at that point of time and play bridge. or mahjong. but do we have enough people? i know. sam can join in. right? "P fine fine. im crapping i know. surprisingly i have nothing much to add today. maybe cos im in school and i dont have much inspiration for blogging now. oh wells. bored. staring at currencies and countries. yawn.

hmm. interestingly sean found my bloggie. how, i dont quite really know. i dint know my blog 'circle' would loop over to theirs. yeah. but anyway, considering this is already the second last week, i dont really mind if my students lay their hands on my blog, my email, msn, icq, handphone number, home address, birthday ( *hint hint hint*) or whatsoever. i mean, this is already the second last week before term ends and since i most prolly wont be going back next term, it doesnt harm if they start to get to know me as friends right? especially my sec twos. i mean, look at it this way. im barely 5 years older than them. sometimes i feel more like a student than a teacher. maybe that is the main reason why i dont feel like becoming a teacher yet. take for example, during exam invigilation. i felt so damn bored and the room was bloody stuffy such that i envied the students for being able to put their heads on the table. and sleep. sleep. yes me and yuanshin were soooo envious of them. but of course, we couldnt say anything. as usual. but what the heck. four of us leaving by the end of the term so there you go. initially there would be the hoo-haa of trying to keep in touch with the teachers but as time goes by, and memories fade, students will forget the relief teachers. and the ugts. unless either one of dthe three gets posted back to hillgrove for their practicum and after that, proper posting. heard from daniel that seok bee is coming back to hillgrove officially as a teacher. good for her. i like her cos she is just so bubbly and cheery. never got to talk to irene, and the other two male teachers here for practicum. but hey. i think 1E2 will be utmost delighted to know that their fish will not be returning to the school. oh wells. in one week odd time, it would be none of my business. grin. not that i dont wanna care. but im quite tired honestly. as in. just mentally tired. maybe cos im taking full load and it's actually quite jialat ultimately, even if im dealing with the better classes? oh wells. oh sean, if you're reading, i wont be starting any new lessons. i'll be going through the mid year paper, and yeah. relax for the rest of the lesson. grin. so you dont have to bring your geog text book if you're wondering. grin.

just maximised notepad to its largest. supposed to be looking for brainteasers to occupy my english classes but somehow i end up blogging. blogging seems to be part of my life now. such a big part of it. i look forward to the time i reach home, and be able to 'record' down my feelings and emotions for the day. i sure hope my parents will get a new pc soon. so that they can hog one machine and i can hog the other. and when i get my laptop soon enough, i'll be on my laptop 24/7. oh wells. that's me la. a girl who cannot survive without the computer, books, nor the internet. no wonder lee tong thought that description fitted a guy more than a girl. and yeah, my radio and music. some things i just cannot do without. oh wells.

you know. sometimes when i start thinking about myself. i realise i dont really excel in any specific area. sounds lousy right? i dont know. i just dont seem to excel. i mean. for very obvious cases, i dont excel in my academic studies. people go wow when they ask about my past education institutions. but look at my results. they dont quite show that im a bright student. quite an average one in fact. i mean, caleb pointed out today that 50% of the Alevels students are getting 4As. so i belong to the part who dint get 4As. which is quite sad aint it? oh sigh. and then. i dont excel in sports. even if i look tanned. im a lazy idiot. who refuses to exercise. who cannot get her butt out of the house to go to the gym or go jogging. i simply plainly refuse to. i'd rather sit in front of my comp and type non stop in my blog. or play computer games. or read a book in my bed. or chill out to music. but never the sun. it takes alot of carrots to attract this unhealthy rabbit to step out of her burrow to go out and play sports. alot. and what next? i dont have any particular hobby or liking that i excel at. not drawing. and you cant excel in reading. nor interacting. yeah. nothing. simply absolutely nothing. im just a plain jane, put it this way. somebody average. who doesnt stand out. personally.. i dont know. maybe there are people who take proactive ways to make themselves stand out from the rest. i mean, no pain no gain aint it? some people are simply just so brilliant that they dont need to lift a finger to shine bright. but then again, im a lazy pig. so why should i be complaining about my own attributes when it becomes bloody obvious to me now that not standing out amongst the crowd, is plainly my fault. noone's fault but mine. im not in a mood now, but i just got myself thinking. as usual. oh sigh.

im not upset now. im not. seriously.
i have one more hour on the computer before i pass it over to my dad to let him play his neopets. he happily switched on the comp wanting to play his neopets just now before i informed him that i need to use it for work. which is partially true i suppose. it takes a hell lot of time to republish my blog now since it contains archives since the beginning of last year. pretty amazing how i managed to keep this going for more than a year. im surprised at myself. seriously. but maybe the change to broadband prolonged the expiry date of my blog. and i will continue to update it everyday. i promise. yeah.

blogging in notepad again. as usual. seated in front of my computer, with my atlas open, and trying to come up with last minute worksheets to occupy my sec one geog classes for tmr and wed since im not supposed to return them their papers yet until thurs morn when there is combined going through of papers as per level. and i still have one class of acad free writing not marked. oh wells. mark it later when i go for PCP meeting and tmr morning.

coundown: 9 more working days. after that i am free until dont know when before uni life starts. which is starting to get a little scary. and i started scouting around for notes, and textbooks. thank goodness the jurong east library is opening on the 5th of june. i can then plant myself there to study. whee. it looks similar to the woodlands regional library, my favourite hangout place. and since jurong entertainment centre is just beside, i can easily pop there for lunch or something. think i might get real bored in the june hols and july all the way until term starts. i mean, smu doesnt have camps for students to participate in, so i guess i'll just hafta bum around by myself while the rest of the nus and ntu students enjoy their lives at camps and make new friends. which can turn out to be a tough job. making new friends.

i mean, in sec school, i had jps friends together going to rgs. same goes for hwachong, when my clique all came to hc together. and it helped alot when i saw venus in my future class, and when i wasnt all that close to ruoling. but now i havent heard a single soul who's going smu accountancy. not a single soul. smu business, yes. plenty. but accountancy? no way. i mean, more of them are going to ntu. personal preference la. i have no right to launch a lambasting attack on them so yeah, there you go. so i start the process of making new friends. making new friends. i chew on the term, and it tastes kinda sour, bitter. how, is the question. yet nobody can teach one how to make friends. you plaster a cheesy smile on your face, walk up to people and say 'hi', people would look at you as though you're putting on a fake attitude. but you keep to yourself, and wait for people to approach you, you're waiting for eternity. oh wells. i dont know which category i fall under. i wont go up and say a bubbly cheery 'hi' but i would try to start a conversation. so how now? yeah i know what people will say, let nature take its own course and see what happens along the way. yeah i'll wait and see. as usual.

oh sigh. i dont know what sort of format should my post exams worksheets should be like. haii. i dont feel like coming up with one. but i still have one more week of lessons, plus this week. i cant play games with them all right. when i say games, i mean in class games.

i wanna go on a vacation. but nobody to go with. oh wells. dunno where to go also. i wanna go on a cruise. yeah. a cruise. with an arcade that has daytona. for me to race. and see the beautiful sunrise and sunsets. and enjoy the vast oceans. fine i can happily dream on because there's absolutely nobody to go with me. how boring life can get sometimes. boring with the capital B. maybe i should go look for jobs again? but i wanna study. get my bum in the library, and i think you might find me at the novels section instead of the research section. oh wells. come to think about it, if smu is really going to only start school in late august (which was what i heard) i dont mind going back to teach, provided they still want me back and have a vacancy for me. yeah. i really dont mind. as in. i like the short hours and flexibility of teaching. i like interacting with the students, and teaching them, trying to make the take in as much information as possible. and im happy and glad that some of them improved. by quite abit as well. especially that engyeow. he passed with flying colours for his midyear, when he failed like shit for his first common test. not that the rest of the class did splendid, bu still. oh wells. it's the school's decision, not mine. and in any case, yuan shin daniel and wanting wont be around anymore too. they would be shipped off to the lands of NIE far west. away from the school. hmm.

i miss seeing my friends. but i guess, that's the way with working life. you take some, you lose some. it's always the case.

decided to blog in notepad before transferring my blog entry over to blogger. realised i cant blog much, or cant seem to blog as much in the new blogger box. dont know for whatever reason as well. yeah. so thou shalt blog here, in notepad. grin.

anyway, sam mentioned that the layout of me blog doesnt seem to suit me. which i do agree to some extent. i mean, it's a tad too pinkish. yeah. although i do quite like the picture and all. so i guess i might go blogskin shopping again. oh wells. cant seem to really find one that i like so yeah. there we go. i mean, there used to be so many nice good dark abstract ones in the past, but now all i see are blogskins with zax and tony. fine i only go for the newly uploaded one, and not the top 10 downloaded or the top 10 rated or whatsoever. so i might stick with this pink one ultimately for all i know. oh wells.

anyway, yesh roo, you found me at lt5 yesterday, i dint find you. grin. sat outside the lecture theatre and chatted with roo for a while before going around in search for a toilet that wasnt locked. she was on such a high. (dont argue with me, yes you were on such a high) my goodness. she was sprouting non-stop chinese. the things hwa chong can do to people. i mean, im totally comfortable in a chinese speaking environment , and i am totally comfortable in a english environment. i wonder, if hwa chong really does make the english speaking, speak more in chinese. let's ask joyce tan. grin, girl your views? i think her chinese prolly improved considering the number of chinese high guys she has in her class. oops. but im pretty glad that my class turned out to be more english speaking than chinese speaking. somehow i feel more at ease conversing in english now, even though i grew up in a chinese speaking family and listen watch chinese programmes.

currently talking to ruoling about good food. anybody, any reccomendations for good food? experimented with the BIG O and concluded that the food there is good. especially their desserts. as usual. oh and the cheese hot dogs at GV plaza is damn good as well. yeps. really. while i was watching van helsing, i was savouring the nice cheesy taste of the hot dogs. yum yum. im salivating again. oh no. i mustnt eat so much. i need to go on a diet. yeah. i think i should and i might need to. oops.

hm. running out of things to blog. oh yesh. my sis was complaining about her being out of the house yesterday late last night cos she dint get to see somebody. oh wells. grin. only my mum saw. and only one person will understand what the heck am i talking about here. grin.

ooh. and this is my 200th entry for this blog. power sia. grin.

whee. such an enjoyable day today. went back to hwa chong in the late morning trying to catch the canoeists before finding out that they were already at prince. whine. i wanna eat prince. but anyway. then i went off in search for the clubroom, to find it locked and they changed the lock. oh wells. then i proceeded onto lt 5 where xinyi joined me just minutes later. then we were just talking to the juniors and catching up with them. especially with pansy, when she managed to dig out the secret within me within 5 minutes? oh wells. guess it's just the connection we have la. and she had to announce it to the junior exco after that when i had to run off. oh sheesh. then sat there and listened to the whole elections. twas funny and entertaining. cos me and xinyi bombarded the elects with questions from last years list and asked them weird questions. lalala. my batch people came and left. or rather, wanjun jiahui gab came late. of all things gab had to come in his NS uniform, creating a mini 'commotion' to put it lightly. i mean, you dont see people wandering around in school in NS uniform right? ah anyway. then we spent most of our time gossiping, talking and mainly catching up with each other after that while the junior exco was tallying the votes. skipped lunch in the process but everybody else did as well. if only mr koh dint say he wanted to be at the place when they were tallying the votes. then we could have gone kap or sth. yeah.

left hwachong at around 4 back to westmall to meet sam. filled my starving stomach with half a mushroom swiss. then we went down to plaza sing to watch van helsing. my goodness it was soo packed at plaza sing la. the 7.20 show had only first row aisle seats left and we took it lor. twas pretty bearable la. dint get a neckache. before the show we went to jalan jalan at fort canning and along the way, we met chewseng. or more like, i saw chewseng and called him while sam was distracted by something else. heh. they had their typical NS talk while we two girls were making the 'typical' faces at each other. recognised that she's a hwa chong girl as well, if im not wrong.. should be from s77. but anyway, van helsing is good, contrary to what wenhui says. "P similar to what xinxin and my sis said. yep. exciting storyline, nice action packed. yeah, something that draws my interest. made me jump in my seat a couple of times during the whole show. in fact, i think i prefer van helsing to troy. but there's so many more movies i wanna watch. may seems to be a month for good movies. hm.

leaving the house in approx 1 hour time. going back to hwa chong for interact elections. wonder how the elections will be like, but i guess we'll be just there to be a spectator.. dont wanna go in so early, but at the same time i dont wanna be a super latecomer, so i guess i'll bum around, look for mei before the elections begin and yeah, go in and shoot questions. hm.
then going off to watch van helsing with him. grin.

the skies were very beautiful today when i looked up before morning assembly.
the expanse of swirly clouds, the simpleness of the blue sky.
it dint quite take my breathe away, but i did realise that it was a long time since i looked at the skies. the last time was probably when i was on my way to hwa chong in the morning, rocking on 157 down dunearn road, and staring into the vast sky, amzaed at the changing colours, from peach, to purple, to red and slowly, finally blue. still miss the good old times of travelling along dunearn road, even though it was only for 2 years. but as i made up my decision to go to smu, i realise that i will still be travelling down that road in the mornings for the next 1 year odd. which is a nice thing oddly. though it's gonna be a very long distance from my house (more or less la, compared to hwachong it's gonna be further, compared to rg, it's gonna be closer).
to think i was still thinking about travelling along that same road when i took 174 down from school (as in hillgrove) to orch. had to pass by dunearn road along the way, and looked out for hwa chong as i passed by it. the courts were deserted and the building stood silently. guess everybody was at lectures and tutorials. i suppose. i presume. there could be some monkeys who ponned class and over at the chinese high canteen enjoying their meals for all i know. hwa chong people aint as guai and nerd as all you guys out there think. yeah. grin.

went to watch troy yesterday with ruoling and xinxin. had a great time catching up with them, for them to pamper monstar and for me to torture it even more. troy itself, was okay. as in, the acting was great, plenty of eye candy but the storyline was thin. it was spreaded out quite thinly across the 2.5 hour movie, such that action only picked up in the last 40 minutes and the first part of the movie was rather draggy. i mean, since it is war and all, so i suppose wars are meant to be draggy. cant help but laugh at the foolishness of the greeks initially. and sigh at the stubborness of the troy king for refusing to listen to his two sons. and laugh again at the foolishness of the troy people about receiving the present of the gigantic horse. like what ruoling said, if the horse was bloody heavy and required tens of men to drag it along, and the horse was holey, should it not cause suspicion? oh, and i do think that orlando bloom is better looking than brad pitt in the show. i mean, i dont like guys with long hair, therefore i reach the conclusion that orlando bloom was better looking. there were shadows of him as legolas in the movie, due to him practicing his arrow shooting, but his acting was good. as a worthless pathetic fella. oops. well, both LOTR and troy had 5 star ratings from the straits times, but i must say, LOTR is tons better. maybe because they had nicer scenery from new zealand, and the plot was alot thicker. yeah. i wanna watch the day after tomorrow, shrek 2 and van helsing. van helsing, because both my sis and xinxin gave it thumbs up, and xinxin did say i would love the show. knowing her, knowing myself i prolly would.

then me and ruoling went to DA BIG O to eat dinner. yumyumyum. the cheesecake was nice. the 'dirty rice' was nice but oily. and now im having a worse cough as compared to yesterday. oh wells. who cares. so as long as i enjoyed myself. teehee. okay fine, dont throw things at me. "P
well, happy birthday ruoling and hope you enjoyed youself yesterday. grin.

oh bored. and tired. and sleepy. waiting around for 130 to come before i dash out of school to watch troy. oh bother. yeah. almost falling asleep while marking my geog papers. after three whole days i seem to have lost the motivation to finish up the 5 classes. i mean, i have finished 3 classes, but i havent finished the best two classes. oh wells. cant wait for saturday to come. life is getting a tad boring. in fact, very boring. considering im only doing marking day in day out.

currently trying to find out the results of last night's american idol.
oh great. latoya london is out.
what the fuck?!?!?
nobody to watch now. i mean, the good ones are gone, leaving two young ones and one with an asshole attitude. what the hell man.
i give up on american idol.
seriously.

hey people. or rather, to the bloggers.
found this new blog site, which is mainly targetted at the people who would rather concentrate more on blog content and save the hassle of layouts and things like that. seems pretty simple and elegant to me.
blogdrive

i realised i have adopted the bad habit of watching tv day in day out. i mean, i have returned to watching "shi jian lu" at 4.30, and dont-know-what-chinese-serial at 5.30. then after i watch the news and eat dinner, and continue watching tv until 11pm. oh wells. and while i mark papers. hm. is that a good sign or a bad sign? of course, i run off halfway at night to talk on the phone for a short while, then i either fall asleep or return to watching tv. yawn.

goodness. i was just looking at the SMU accounting courses, and to be frankly honest, i wanna do so many of the various courses offered, even when they say just choose one/two/three or goodness knows how many. personally to me, they appeal to me. very much. of course, i would stick to some safe ones, but those that im interested in definitely. lemme see.
lets start off with general education:
from the arts side, i would like to try linguistics, geography and foreign language (take the chance to learn german or french). but from the science side, i would like to try chemistry, life science, and maybe pschology. but i only need to do 4 courses from general educaion. oh whine.
then we have global and regional studies.
tax planning is compulsory, but i wanna do intellectual property rights, law and international business, political science and public policy. most interested in public policy. but they would only allow me to choose one. cos two courses are required and tax planning is one of them. oh sigh.
next, Technology & Entrepreneurship.
they said choose two courses.
me wanna do Chemicals & Biotechnology, Communications & Information Technology, IT & the Law, New Media Technology.
i know i wont have the time to do them all, but i am interested in them all. oh whine. oh sigh.
all i pray hope is, going to SMU to study is not a wrong choice, but in fact, the best choice i could have ever made. yeah. i mean, sometimes i do question myself. why am i going against the flow, when everybody is moving to NUS and NTU. but ultimately somebody will go against the flow. and if i really wanna be true to myself, it's time to wake up and think what really interests me, and what will motivate me to study. i admit, science is really not my forte, but maths is actually alright. i mean, i do enjoy doing maths and was rather happy when i saw that statistics is in the syallbus at SMU, meaning i'll see the same things that i used to do for fmaths, like discrete, continuous, sampling, estimation, hypothesis testing, linear regression. eh wait, in fact everything i learnt is the bulk of it, only 2 extra courses that look more or less vaguely familar. and i loved stats. and i still do. yeah. consider me mad, but i do love stats. which means, roo i cant sell you my calculator, cos think like i would need it ultimately. yeah. for the convenience of it all.
maybe i cant wait for school life to begin, and start studying again.
i aim to be a mugger this time round.
no more playing the fool and neglecting my studies.
no more. but i will and hope to enjoy life, and keep in touch with friends as much as possible. that is provided, they will want to keep in touch with me still.


yesterday only one person msged me after reading my blog entry.
thank you joyce tan. grin. *hugs* love ya.
dont know when that yy is going to japan. *sulks* *jealous*
she gets to go to japan and play. no fair. hahaha.
am just trying to play the idiot here.
lalalala.
going back to hwachong on saturday for interact elections.
cant wait to see what kind of 20th exco would be born on this coming sat. yeah. i know, last year i was pretty much apprehensive about the whole issue cos i had no inkling if my choices (or rather, our choices) were right. but i think it turned out to be pretty good, and successful. i mean, the president was obvious. nobody else could have taken up the post aside from him. i bet if we gave the presidency post to somebody else, there would have been an uproar. yeah. soon it will be installation time, and we would go back and gate crash again. as usual. it was nice to see the seniors seated together with the teachers last year when we were stepping down, though mok wasnt present. he dint even come down for the whole thing i think. although he did rush down after our elections to kaypo kaypo at the results. and the seniors were having a fun time telling us their opinions and giving us their comments. i wonder if it would be the same this year. put it this way, the 17th (mok's batch) and the 18th (our batch) were close, but i dont think the 18th and the 19th are that close. somehow i think. just a feeling. it might be wrong. even when pansy and wendy are in there, i dont feel that close to them anymore. even though only a short 4 months odd have flew past. which is pretty quickly i gotta admit. unlike the good old days of jc time when time seemed to crawl by. i dont know. sometimes time seem to crawl nowadays but when i am enjoying myself, time flies. oh wells.

are we still watching troy tmr? hm. i wanna see shrek 2. hint hint hint. "P

just read yuan's blog and i hafta admit, i do agree with some of her points there. for me, i would think it's pure politeness to inform the person if you're reading her/his blog. i mean, that is what the tagboard or shoutbox is for, to tell the author that blah blah blah came by here before, and give some form of response or reply to show that he/she exists. i mean, a blog is for us bloggers to inform and vent feelings. at the same time, readers who leave responses or even a simple 'hi' would tell us bloggers that there are people reading and giving responses to say, cheer us on or entertain us, or encourage us on when we feel upset. readers get to see our feelings, may it be true or simply a facade. but then again. who on earth would wanna waste time by putting a facade online? it's quite plainless for people to blog for the sake of going with the trend. am pretty sure the fad for blogging is over, except for some faithful ol' ones like yours sincerely.

anyway. i agree. blogs are almost like a two way thing. since friends are reading our blogs for the sake of updating themselves and knowing our emotions and feelings, why cant they let us know about how they are currently doing, and feeling. like ruoling did put it before, she appreciates those who still blog, to show that we're still breathing surviving and alive in this world. i mean, most of us are separated now, with the girls working and the guys in NS. we hardly see each other and keep in touch with each other. so it would be nice to read each other's blogs, and be updated and not stay out of the loop. it does hurt, if one discovers a close friend's blog, and the friend did not bother to inform. or rather. would rather not let us know. it would hurt. really hurt. guess i understand how yuan feels. yeah. or maybe im just too sensitive.
i mean, look at it this way. im already feeling quite lost cos im barely in touch with anybody now. people like eileen, sijia, yanlian, venus. the class girls. was only talking to ruoling and xinxin just recently. the rest, no news at all. for all i know, you guys might have disappeared off the face of the earth. but then again, maybe im just being the passive one. i admit, i havent been bothering to sms or call. why? cos im dead sick and tired of being taken for granted, or face with silence on my hp when i send out smses. for all i know, who would reply to me? i guess loneliness is the right word to describe my current feeling right now. oh wells. not extreme loneliness but i just feel. out. of. touch.
oh sigh.

oh wells. maybe that is just working life for me. maybe it would be working life for me in future too. i have already alienated myself by going to a place where nobody else seems interested to be heading towards. yet i already knew that at the back of my mind. somehow maybe i am just not ready to accept that fact. somehow. i'd wish uni life wont start so soon. uni life is going to be a whole new chapter in life. one fresh page, where everything starts anew. as clean as a sheet of blank paper. especially for me, when nobody i know is going SMU accountancy. why does people not like SMU? fine. i know everybody has their own personal reasons that i should not question, because it's their personal choice, like how i love to emphasise on mine. then again. oh sigh. somehow i wish life could just stop now. and not move. even if im lonely. haii. what the hell.

should be marking now, but lemme vent my frustrations for a while more. before my dad takes over the comp to play his neopets. not tired of marking yet. maybe because i would like to know how my sec twos are performing for their midyear exams. and by the look of it, my 2E5 is performing quite well, considering the fact that they are the last express class in the whole sec two level. oh sigh.

being young has its own set of problems, but nobody said growing older who cause these problems to disappear. like i was lunching with yuanshin daniel and wanting today, they were all complaining about their own problems. problems of the twenty somethings. hmm. does that mean, being a child would be problem free and headache free? i would like that very much thank you.

oh wells. if anybody out there in the class still exist, can we meet someday for dinner or something? just dont tell me to go to bishan on a wednesday evening at 7 when i live in the extreme jurong west and need to wake up by 6 the next morning. i just dont wanna spend 2 hours travelling time when i can use that to rest or mark, even when i know that that is one of the rare chances that i would get to meet you guys. how about friday evening or something? better than a weekday evening right?
meanwhile, if you guys still exist, take care folks.
although i know you guys may not be reading this, i still miss you guys terribly. yeah.

was remisicing the memories of jc life as i was walking to school today. maybe because i saw many hwa chong people on bus 157 this morning. oh wells. going back to hwa chong this saturday afternoon for elections, from 1130 to 230 in the afternoon. i wonder how different hwa chong would be. i mean, like ruoling put it, the pandan rice auntie is no longer there, and our class bench has been changed to a cold cold student lounge. how sad can that get? i wonder if the rice uncle still remembers us. i wonder. *ponder*

the memories of playing bridge non stop at the class bench. our rum and rasin night with ruoling sijia tim after out fmaths second block test in jc1. that one was hell of a classic memory as i have mentioned. the rushing off to play bridge immediately after we finish our recess, and the calculation of how much time we have left to play. the non stop eating and food buying for the singaporeans during fmaths lectures, and the incessant chitter chatter or snoring/sleeping during yaolefen's and tkh's lectures in j1 and j2. how about dramafeste, when me and sijia had hell of a time fooling about backstage and making the props with the juniors.. and valentines day in j2, when ruoling and venus appeared in school like santa clauses with boxes of brownies for the class people, and wenhui and boss were giving out roses by the buckets. grin. what else? oh, the festival of sports when we played it out and gave our best shot by participating enthusiastically, not bothering about whether we could play it well.. and plenty others that i cannot remember at hand right now..

oh wells. i do wish i can go back to jc and relive the memories, and be the student i used to be. vaguely remembering what weiliang used to tell me when i was in j2, enjoy jc life and treasure the memories. i did, and i still do now. oh sigh.

whoa. the blogger new outlook is niceeee. really nice. kawaii desune. yeah, i would use the word kawaii cos it is sorta cute, the bubbly sorta cute. get what im saying? yeah you do. grin. for the bloggers of course.

anyway, i seem to be going on a sleeping binge recently.
slept from 1-5.30pm yesterday, and sam chased me off to sleep at 10.15 pm yesterday. almost couldnt wake up at 6 today to get to school, and the minute i reached home at 2 today, i read today's papers on my bed and fell asleep promptly at 2.20pm and only woke up at 5.30pm. again. i mean, what's wrong with me? sleeping and sleeping and sleeping. i mean, im not complaining but still. whine. why on earth am i sleeping so much? my mum says it's prolly because im sick. yeah, check with doctor ang, my mum. grin. oh wells. i dont mind sleeping though, just that it takes away my marking time.. was marking nonstop in school today cos i only had one invigilation period. or put it this way, everybody had one invigilation period, cos there was only one paper. yeah. so i sat there and started marking the horrendously scary long structured questions. the largest component of the paper. oh wow. fought through 2.5 questions, which suggests the fact that i prolly am halfway through the marking and finishing soon, at least for the three classes. 2E5 is performing the best so far, but maybe because i havent been touching 2E1 and 2E2's papers since i lugged them home to mark and i havent quite gotten around touching them. yeah. oops.

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
watching troy on thurs. cant wait. plus it's some fine lady's birthday who wants a computer gadgt fund to be kickstarted by me. you really want me to kickstart your gadget fund ah? lemme discuss this with xinxin, whom i msged today, and she said she was stuck in a staff meeting. awww. when i was in the comforts of my staff room (though it was freezing cold). grin. xinxin, did you enjoy your staff meeting today?

kk, it's pretty obvious im starting to crap liaoz, but dont know why, i just feel like crapping today. and type type type type non stop. yeah. this entry is gonna seem pretty short ultimately. maybe i just have nothing much to say today, considering the fact that i spent most of my time sleeping and marking. yeah.
yawn.
why did i just yawn?!?
argh sheesh.

sooooo tired. just woke up only.
went to take this super long nap when i reached home at 1.
was sooooooooo tired and blur and groggy such that if i hadnt willed myself to reach home safe and sound, i might have just fainted along the streets. yeah that was how i felt. my mum said that was the prelude to the major bout of cold coming up. oh great. i dont wanna be sick. the feeling aint good. especially with the blocked nose.

went through jap class in a blur and groggy feeling. oh great. from 11.30 onwards, nothing was going into my head. cos i was simply. too. tired. what the heck. even amanda was sick. dont know la. think by being sick, makes one irritated very easily. before amanda came, was supposed to practise with koh san, but he was soo bloody slow that he took 2 minutes to figure out what to say. like hello, just read and fill in the blanks! sheesh. and he mentioned to the sensei today that he had a 14 year old daughter. wa best. he dint look as though he was married. yeeucks.

sheesh. one whole week of invigilation. one whole week of marking.
and then me go out with ruoling on thursday to watch TROY!!! YAY!
oei lady, whaddaya want for your birthday?

i realise i had been plodding through town in either teeshirt and shorts, or sleeveless top and shorts, together with sports shoes for the past two nights. yesterday was orchard and today was the whole of city hall area. what's wrong with me? nothing!
im just plain tired of wrapping myself up in jeans. my legs need to breathe. heh. yeash i guess. am going to jap class in oversized tee and shorts too. dont care. dont give a damn. i have the freedom to wear whatever i want.

fine im crapping.

went to orch yesterday with sam! grin. ate at marche and walked walked abitbit. yep. wanted to visit the sony shop at isetan at wisma but it was closed for renovations. whine. sigh. but i got to check out the sony gadgets today anyway. grin.

today was a busy busy busy day.
had recce with my PCP mates. at the central fire statioN! super deeduper fun. grin. plus we had teambuilding. which involved us walking from places to places and wrecking our brains about the five different venues. went to the philatelic (is that how it's spelt?) museum, then the foundry at clarke quay, then back to the central fire station, then to ROM (wait, nobody was getting married "P), then to somewhere near ancient civillisation museum and finally back to funan. we were supposed to get to jason's place at raffles city but we all couldnt figure out the clue so soon tien and pamela had to make do with the cold storage at funan. heh.

when we were at the ancient civilisation place, we were supposed to play "who's who?" as in, we write down five different things about ourselves that is made known to strangers rarely, and after that guess who's who. a way of team building i guess, and it was pretty interesting. here's what i wrote:
1. simply love anything to do with cheese, be it pure cheese, chicken cheese sticks, cheesy pizzas, cheese fries, cheese cakes. you get the idea.
2. like to paint draw sketch - especially watercolour and sketches of scenery.
3. total bookworm - espcially thrillers. books by patterson and grisham
4. love gadgets - an admirer of all gadgets with no money to buy =(
5. fave music - new age and jazz
yeah. and lee tong thought that person was a guy. but rico burst out saying my name, and when i asked her why, she was like "cos it's so you?" dint know i have such a distinct character. hee i like it. grin. and people thought i was the one who loved water sports. blame it on my tan. twas pamela. not moi. grin. yeah. the whole event ended relatively later la. so about 5 of us went to have lunch at funan and i ended up skipping the meeting at bukit ho swee. yeah. no point me rushing down cos i think the meeting would have ended by the time i reached there.
yeah. so me and soon tien ended up going sim lim together to check out the gadgets cos we had nothing better to do, and while bidding time to our night events, decided to pop down there since we were already in the vicinity..

and it was a badd mistake. not the company, but now i am eyeing soooooooooo many things!!! arh shit. but it was nice going around simlim with soon tien, got to know him ALOt better and having a professional around to tell me what would be good offers and brands was a pretty nice thing. here's my wishlist for birthday. which is prolly too ex for people to get it for me i know.

birthday wishlist (from the cheapest which aint that cheap to the most ex)
1. sony foldable headphones (something which i would prolly get myself soon)
2. fossil watch (the orange $138 one)
3. imac speakers ($199) (to go with my imac laptop if i get the powerbook)
4. sony mp3 player -or- sony attract discman (which goes for $288 i think)
5. acer 371TCi -or- imac powerbook G4 (9007) (both are laptops)

i think im pretty mad. yeah. gulps.
anyway. the imac powerbook seems a refreshing change la. but at the same time the acer 371TCi is damn sleek and compact and nice. but the cd drive is not in built la. hm. both are around the high end 2k. so they are within my budget. oh sigh. how now? will ask my mummy. since she's gonna help me sponsor abitbit. grin.

then after we split at about 5.30 i still had 1.5 hrs left to spare, and to get me from PS to jurong west, so i took 190 (yes the bus 190 that brings me to rgs and to bukit panjang) and switched to 187.. hell of a long journey, but i had my discman and book so it was fun. enjoyable. being alone sometimes. guess im a real geminian. being two sided and all. for a while i would seek attention. yet at times i would want to be alone. undisturbed in my own little world, and not allowing people to intrude into this quiet little world of mine. oh wells. thats me for you.

something which i forgot to add last night.
or maybe because i dint bother to go online cos i was watching tv and marking papers at the same time. something which i enjoy.
yeah i received the offer letter from SMU. first course, arts and social science, second choice science. which makes it even more confirmed that im heading towards smu.
put it this way, like i was telling ruoling, the plain reason why my offer letter was delayed was because i put nus law as first choice, which was a hot favourite for the 4As students and no place for me. i should have known better. seriously.
so now, im going SMU accountancy all alone. so far. unless yuan chooses to go there as well, which is something i seriously doubt so. yeah. oh wells. was a tad upset yesterday when i was talking to ruoling over the phone last night. it's not easy to make new friends in uni. and her choosing NUS was something i more or less knew, but couldnt quite accept it at that point in time. all along she was the only other person who wanted to go SMU with me, but at the same time i knew she was torn between engin at NUS and accountancy at SMU. a place where she likes, between a course that she likes. a tough decision. i knew i couldnt psycho her to go SMU with me, cos i dont want her to regret going SMU and not NUS. but still. upset. oh wells. life has to go on somehow. i'll just be glad for a friend like her. yeah. been talking to her quite often recently and i do appreciate the phone calls. it chases the loneliness away. thankew dear. *hugs*

a mixture of emotions was within me yesterday. yeah. pissed upset disappointed. everything rolled into one. oh sigh. damn tired la. couldnt sleep last night. not because of any other reason, but the simple reason being i had a bloody blocked nose that caused dificulty in breathing. ack. sore throat again. slept at midnight woke up at 3.30 and couldnt sleep after that. when i finally fell asleep again, it was time for me to go to school. invigilation for me starts at 8.50am today. boring.

i will be a spoiler.
george huff was voted out of American Idol this morning.
checked the community boards on idolonfox.com
sigh.
no motivation to watch american idol liaoz.
why wasnt fantasia voted out? why wasnt jasmine voted out?
george huff has the charisma to charm and the vocals to sing.
fantasia has a punched up face with no charisma to charm and jasmine has no vocals to sing. what the hell.

left school at around 3 today. parents came to fetch cos they were in the vicinity.
or rather, they went to celebrate their 20th anniversary at vienna restaurant at united suqare. me gave them the money to go celebrate. afterall im working so lemme pay for their anniversary since i cannot be around mah. mounted up to about $60 odd i think, for the two "lao de". hee.
me lugged home 2E1 and 2E2's answer scripts and foolscap paper to mark.
their MCQ finish marking liaoz cos caleb was helping me today with the OTAS machine..
so i have 5 classes of answer scripts and long structured questions. gulps. here goes.
was quite freaked out today when they were doing the paper. was worried that they dint understand what i was trying to ask, or simply dont know how to do. i incidentally killed them all on mapwork, which was something i dint wish to see happen. cos i thought the mapwork questions were pretty simple, except for one, where i asked them "which country is the first to usher in the 1st day of the New Year." country, not island. i wont know which island will usher in, cos it would be some ulu one, but country would be new zealand. was scanning through some mapwork answers and most dint get it.. or rather, i havent seen anybody who got the answer yet but some were actually pretty close. they put "australia". but i can kill some students la. they think tuas is near sungei buloh. like hello?!!?!? i thought common sense would tell you that tuas is near boon lay which is near jurong which is at the very end of the western part of singapore!! sheesh. havent seen their long structured yet. but like i told the students before, the paper is doable, just tedious, if you made the effort to study. yeah.

oh wells. yuan shin was saying im a workaholic. lugging two classes home to mark right on the very day when the paper was done. aiyah. it's just me la. i have the initial motivation to start marking. and maybe after finishing with mine, i go and help caleb mark. he has 10 classes to mark, twice my workload and he's sick. but then again, im sick too.

the few of us were wrecking havoc again in the staff workroom. the few of us included yuan shin, daniel, me, plus the trainee teachers. tmr is their last day mah and they're thinking of buying pizza for the people in the staff room. daniel was trying to be cheeky by convincing them to buy pizza hut instead of canadian pizza. haha. buy one get one free. lalala. i would be just pleased with getting to eat my share of the pizza. grin. we so could wreck havoc, was mainly because all the permanent teachers went off for the envisioning workshop. awwwww. obviously me dint have to go. thank goodness. grin.

cant wait for tmr to come. cos the weekend follows soon after!
wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

i hate it when my throat feels weird.
sorta dry and strangulated. makes it very dificult for me to swallow.
it takes a great deal of effort to do something simple like that now.
been feeling very tired these few days. keep taking short naps at the wrong times, and hence missing dinner with my family. oh wells.

had no idea what my mum was thinking about today.
either that or i had absolutely no appetite.
the plate of bee hoon was dry, bland, white and tasteless.
only ate a quarter of dinner. suppose i'll be hungry later, but it doesnt matter if i starve or not.
tired.
i feel as though im straining my voice when i taught in class this week.
maybe because my throat wasnt feeling too good. can i pon school tmr?
i cant, even if i want to. how can the setter go missing on the day of the paper?
ack. but my throat.

fine. not like im going to talk alot tmr. in fact, i'd probably repeat myself twice.
"okay, pens down. please make sure you have your name, register number, class on all answer scripts. tie your foolscap papers together with the string provided and no talking or communication is allowed until i finish collecting the papers."
then i proceed down the rows to collect the finished papers and ship them off to the conference room. oh. how exciting can life get.

watching american idol later. with the absence of john stevens.
and tonight is big band night.
unfair.
they should get him back as a guest performer.
cos he will be the only one who can shine in big band.
imagine fantasia trying to sing like ella fitzgerald. yeeucks. maybe diana digarmo can pass off as diana krall. then jasmine trias can try stacey kent. but jasmine = stacey kent? nah i cant imagine. not even fantasia. maybe diana digarmo might pass off pretty well. hoping and praying hard that latoya and george huff will be the final two. i cant imagine the rest being in the final two. oh goodness.

blogging in school first now, before school ends and i go home.. ah finally i go home today without any work and i was thinking alone the lines of going home early cos feeling quite tired la. yeah.
finally. today is wednesday and midyear exams begin tmr. gulps. i hope no student will have questions for my geog paper. as in i hope everything will go smoothly and nothing wrong happens during that period of time. yep.
and then after that, i would have to collect 200 scripts from the conference room. oh wells. what to do? yawn. sleepy. i hope i dont fall asleep invigilating tmr. heh. invigilation is boring with a capital B. yeah. really. ask the relief teachers, i bet they would agree with me. right ruoling, xinxin eileen?

guess i should be going to SMU accountancy after not hearing from NUS law. i mean. i guess it's sorta expected la, with my grades and all. naturally a tad disappointed but still. life has to go on, aint i right? yeah.
wonder how life at SMU would be like? i dont wanna be a party girl and play all day. i think it's seriously time for me to get down to business and aim to be amongst the best. i wanna return to days in pri sch and sec school. i dont wanna be at the bottom again. i'm utterly sick and tired of life like that. especially during junior college when i couldnt catch up with the PRCs. i wanna be amongst the best. of course, i would have to follow that up with actions, and not mere talk. actions always speak louder than words. right? yes i know.

love is an over used word. too commercialised and too over used. i admit, im one who over uses the word. what is love anyway? is extreme liking love? can the word love and like be interchanged?
i noticed on television serials, the chinese ones, they use "xi huan" to represent love in chinese. is "xi huan" like, or is "xi huan" love? being the "tiao ti" me, i would tend to think that "xi huan" can only refer to like, and love is to "ai". or else, "wo xi huan ni" = i love you? and where does "wo ai ni" stand?
of course, that is in terms of the chinese way la.
but when would you know if you love somebody, or you just merely like the person?
i guess it is hard to quantify love, and sometimes, people use the word "love" without any sincerity or meaning. usually, when students write letters, they often tend to end off with "lurve ya". but do they? do they seriously love the receipient? or is it just a convenient way to end off a letter, to make it sound more close to heart, caring and concerned? i must admit, once again, that im the sort who would end off with "lurve ya" but i dont love the person. i know i care, and i am concerned about the other party's life and matters, but do i really love?

what is love anyway? somebody define love for me.
superficially it seems really simple. but to look at it in a deeper way, what is love?